Abortion/Love/Disabilities

I have three children and all three of these kids, for myself, I don't care. I've always loved children and I always will but when I had my first child I was eighteen, I thought and I thought. I was already engaged, I finished my diploma, I was somewhat responsible. But was my parents ready for a child? I asked and I wondered, should I get an abortion? It seemed easy back then, you have never met the person that you were going to carry, they were only seeds of flesh. But I didn't go through with it, then after my second child, six months after Ezra I was pregnant again. I thought, what the hell? I can't go through with this again, what will people say? And, is it safe? After being so close to another caesarean? So I asked around, Edward too was being considered for the drop. But it was okay, they were all extremely healthy children, they inherited some of my allergies, actually both my husband and I, thankfully very mild rashes and fever asthma. Considering I smoked when I was pregnant too, they were all above three kilograms with regular sized brains, perfect lungs perfect heart, hey I don't know how I did it but I did it! It happens in my family, people do smoke when they're pregnant, not too much just once in awhile. But we're all healthy and happy, and then I thouht some people who try so hard with their pregnancies and they have to deal with more, so I feel sorry. Now this is where I'm going to hit the right note, if a woman, has a higher chance of having a child with a disability, will she abort it? Even for small things like a cleft palate or a webbed foot? Or something more difficult like Down's syndrome? I've read about Down's syndrome, there are many who become successful, many who can live alone, have a job, get married and have kids. Focus, and learn (honestly, there are people on this earth with no disability whatsoever but they are far more dependent and sorry to say idiotic than a person with down's syndrome or autism). So what's the problem? Why are many more women aborting imperfections? Sometimes, a human being's worth on this earth is a lot more than you think, who knows they might save someone's life one day, they might be useful to a community. They might not, but you can take the same gamble on a normal kid who might end up as a serial killer/rapist/pedophile/politician. I'm not sure about abortions, for myself it's a case by case thing. it's not something for everyone, so I'm not advocating nor am I rejecting it. There are cases of incest rape, and maybe the person just doesn't want their child to be hurt. There are limits and unfortunately limits differ from person to person. But if you're pregnant and your child might have a disability, aren't the odds when you add up teenagehood, tween, college drunkfest or whatever is nasty, just the same?

What's wrong with people living on trees in Brunei?

I know the allegation, people think Borneans and Bruneians are a bunch of savages living on trees, meaning that we aren't even up on the evolutionary scale, not even Homo Sapien, unlike them Homo Sapien Sapien, not even close to Homo Habilis. Cos, we live on trees. But doing a lot of readings on Borneo, I realized that all this time Bruneians have a problem in the way they treat other races except themselves. Of course the given will always be true, those in power, those with wealth that can be translated to power, will always necessarily be able to wield enough to maintain that their positions will be higher than that of others. But the question is this, what's wrong with Borneans and Bruneians living on trees? I know they're a group on facebook, defying that Bruneians don't live on trees, but what is so wrong with that? What is so wrong being different? Why is everyone running after prestige so badly that they need to have a fricking mansion/flatscreen tv/study in UK/US/Oz/drive an expensive car. Last night I was talking to this lady I was hennaing and she was from Singapore, she said she felt a little bit relaxed because people were not so driven by materialistic culture, but...really? Bruneians are a bit materialistic, not to the extent of Singaporeans but we're getting there. Not just that they're prestige crazy. Everything is just as fake everywhere around the world. The views of Borneans and Bruneians living on trees only reflect the perspective of Orientalism. Where's the Occidentalism? As one white guy once pointed out to me (albeit he's a fricking idiot), it's been 50 years since independence, why do they all sound like they want to kiss the Western perspective?

Sex and disability

I just realized something very2 strong. All this time I only thought about myself being oveweight and all and having challenges concerning sexuality. Well there I'm completely wrong and something is fucking wrong with the world we live in today. Have we ever realized that sex and body types should not be one-sided? Why is there only one representation of sexuality minus the rest? Sex is white, barbie doll and massive cocked Ken, it's not Asian male, or Black women, sure these two do exist but they are not the central pornographic mainstream. And not just that, where is the disabled sex? Why are there no sex involving people on a wheelchair? People who are blind? Why does tv show only sex and love of two 'normal' (trust me everyone is so not normal) man and woman? And the gay men and women, fucking hell, they all look good, where is the reality in that? Not all gay men are good looking and not all gay women are good looking and good looking is questionable. I think I have come to feel quite surprised at the way society embodies humanity, they are either the tools of capitalism or the mass media but those are just simple explanations that skim the true surface. Humanity makes humanity, society perpetuates society, one girl once told me its not that she doesnt want to date this guy who she thinks was unattractive, it was because she wanted to wake up next to someone who wouldnt freak her out, well you cant teach an old dog new tricks, that's true, and therefore she can leave it at that, but what about teaching our next generation to be more realistic and open and humane about their sexuality? How about teaching people the fact that one way or another a so called 'good looking guy' can wake up next to you and scare the shit out of you, they can be disabled, they can be disfigured badly, is that the worth of your love? Then it must be shallow.

Girls Beware!

Interesting sexist and prejudiced videos from America in the 50s.
Enjoy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fAKo-i4jpQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGqT_Z50w5c&feature=related

My exams are over but my thesis is not and atheists versus fanatics

So, I panicked a few weeks ago when I found out I had an F once because I decided to drop logic and thinking (why do you need to prove arguments using maths again?), and my lecturer told me that it could affect my honours. Hah! It doesn't thank God. Why does it matter? You know, like in the words of that guy Robert T. Kiyosaki, your accountant won't look at your school grades, bla3, but I think it takes a certain amount of gumption, tirelessness and hardwork to make a good business work.
Aside from that, I want to talk about my thesis, this will be my first time conducting fieldwork among the Kedayans of Bukit Panggal. Scared? Shit hell I am. I never realized to be the bottom of things and collecting all this data would hurt. Your effing nervous, you meet new people and you need to turn on your charms. This is what I realized, if all of those people who are gathering all this data that I have been using for my research all this time and to supplement my arguments in this blog and I think, well, that is difficult, and how do you do that? I've been reading and re-reading about the Penan till my eyes hurt (its just a part of my essay work), and honestly, if I was to live in the frickin jungle interior for a year or two I'd go mad, or maybe not if there was a hot guy involved (trust me, when it comes to the basic drive, anything will work, and I will work harder mind you, I got straight As when I was a kid because I liked this guy in my class so I went to school often). So that jumps me down to Malinowski and his psychological functionalism, I cannot help but think that he is smarter than Radcliffe-Brown, his contemporary and rival. Why? As much as it hurts to admit this, everyone is fricking selfish, everyone will sacrifice their needs only if that sacrifice will bring some sort of benefit in the end. People are good because they believe there's a heaven, they know they will be rewarded, if people didn't believe in heaven, and I hope some atheist could supplant me with this because I need to know some data, would anyone bother to be kind? And I'm not even talking about the run of the mill atheist with good morals, because that shows that they believe in 'something' be that it may metaphysical or abstract. I'm talking about hard core atheists who believe in nothing, not even one fucking iota, but I suppose and ironically also, :) corresponds directly to extreme religious fanatics, doesn't it? I'm showing you my thought process, people are not kind because they believe in something, people are not kind because they don't believe in anything (most often these people are just mean to themselves if I'm not mistaken...) . Well go figure, we're back on square one. The point being, society is made up of individuals who want to reach their goals, or desires, I'm not even going to say basic needs, but I do suppose that the dance of sex and life is as old as time itself. Something, the woman who is badly treated by her partner wants something in the end, Revenge? I'm trying to prove my hypothesis here...there must be something she wants and this cannot be said to be a basic desire. I mean I know some dumb frick psychologists of the ancient whatnots have claimed women to be masochistic and sadistic. Survival? Wtf? Society and its trappings? The truth is also, I have to add another dimension here, an abused woman won't be able to think outside of the box as to why she's not leaving an abusive partner, she just allows it to happen. Hmm, interesting, I'll get back to you people when I have the answer. Oh btw, one guy once told me, there's no answer to anything, that everything is just IS, well that is one dumb motherfucker I can tell you that. And please3, read Reza Aslan's No God But God, it's pretty good aside from all the dumb Islamic publications that I have read that are too sexist, too racist, too prejudiced.

The world is a-changing and I'm right in the middle of it

Hell, gone were the days when the words hell and damn were considered rude (lol) but that doesn't mean gone are the days when people are fighting so hard and trying so damn much to put it right back to its place. Right now I'm sitting in a country where its neighbours issued a fatwa to ban against yoga (hahahahaha how intelligent can you be? Issuing a fatwa like that when there are about 2 billion Moslems who are frickin broke and need your help? Wow great blinder there!) As is with most political systems it is obvious that the whole course behind such said actions are ofcourse Malaysia's fear for UMNOs potency. UMNO has lost its potency and it needs Viagra (read PAS and the fatwa issuers) to maintain ahigh rate of votes. Just as Obama and McCain fought in the swing territories over the most orthodox Christians of the South the Malaysians are doing the same tactic as Bush, win em over with religion. Having to depend on a large vote from Sabah and Sarawak to win the recent elections it doesn't come to much surprise that it needs to boost sales in the Malay Muslim department. Tomboys? Cut hair and pants? I'm a mother of three, I'm 23 years old and I married early (I'm such a frickin slut but who doesn't love fucking?) I have never had long hair, why? It makes me look fat besides my husband liked me because of my short hair. I like to wear pants, but sometimes I like to wear skirts, I like lesbian porn, does that count? But in reality I turn my head around if there's a guy I think is hot I don't turn around if there's a hot woman I'd probably have a tendency to stab her face over envy. therefore, the argument does not hold. Besides, haven't all of us Muslims ever learned from history at all? Fatwas change and they change over time, over different spaces and over different regions, to fit any political agenda that they needed to justify. The Muftis know this more than anyone else (if not why send them to Al-Azhar?) They're committed to know this fact and they come back to shove it with power. What comes with the fatwa? Money. Prestige. And all that jazz. They don't do it for God (hahahahahahaha!) they don't do it for women. They do it for themselves to enlarge the pool of sexual must-haves, and money and political prestige and blablabla. Its as simple as that, people never ask why such and such is being said. But problems occur and people would want to know why, such said Muslims for example never ask why such and such women prefer women than men look at the demographics a high percentage of divorce, a low percentage of rights, yadda yadda yadda. Who in their right mind would want a position within the social structure so subservient? Interpretations have been challenged, women have education (one of the reasons why the Taliban won't allow women to go to school, I suppose if they're right then Muhammad the prophet must be lying about everyone should get an education) and with education comes power. And that is what is feared by the said Islamic sections (not all mind you), they go about and declare everyone irreligious and apostate as they like as if they alone own religion as if they alone control the voice of God, and they alone can interpret the words of the Lord. Doesn't this sound familiar? It has passed for the Christians, only the priests had had access to the Lord, to forgive to live, to be religious. And the reason why they hated Muslims was because Islam cut out the middleman so that every person could reach God (protestants did the same thing) and over time the strength of the Islamic church grows stronger and stronger. What we need is some sort of Protestant Islam, we need to cut out the middle man, but it would take too much time, too much bloodshed. And I wonder why, why is this all necessary, to fight for ones faith over God? Shouldn't God be a private matter? After all doesn't one die alone? My answer is yes, you do - die alone.

McCain vs. Obama - again 'why the fuck does McCain scare me'

Here ---> http://www.alternet.org/election08/103387/the_10_biggest_differences_between_obama_and_mccain_that_will_affect_your_daily_life/?page=1

I don't and won't understand at all if the Americans do decide to vote for McCain and label Obama with very flimsy excuses such as 'Muslim' (what's wrong with that I thought America was a liberal country :P), Black (woohoo, often on forums I see, 'I'm not being racist or anything but he's a liar) a liar of what exactly? And McCain is an honest person? HAHAHAHHAHA He sounds like the candidate from Hell, I've said it once and I'll say it again, if McCain becomes America's next president (I don't think this is impossible, oddly the Thais can outseat their Prime Minister with a bloodless coup but Americans don't do that do they? So smart rite? In addition, Bush did it come on it'll happen again!). I'm being pessimistic and sad about this actually I could cry because true enough if McCain is president its the end of America as anyone knows it.

Out with the old in with the new

Reading around reading around and I felt a snagging push towards being extremely angry at something, I don't remember what that something was but it definitely had something to do with my idiot husband (I know, I know you think I'm an idiot too, jeez). Oh yes, he said that feminists want to control everything. (HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA this coming from the sex that's full of crap and controls almost all of the world and has done nothing but evil) I think what he meant was, stop criticizing my sex, we know we're stupid. I'm glad.

The Does and Don'ts between pornography and feminism

I spent a hours reading articles from this feministlawprofs.law.sc.edu, this www.avclub.com, and a blog called feministing.
You guys should check it out I read it from end to end.
Now aside from all this I was reading on the dancing dance (hahaha) between feminism and pornography, as is the fact feminists are so divided about this, one article (just google feminism and pornography and one with the author being wendy mcelroy) I deemed really interesting. Pornography has always been the issue that it objectifies women as being sexual objects (McElroy argues that this is subjective, why not? she asks, good question) and I thought about it, patriarchy always deemed women as being lower, yes, and on the other hand they demand that the women that they 'own' should be demure and ofcourse according to Hindu law the concern is largely to protect caste purity and therefore cross caste marriage (note: marriage not extramarital r'ships haa) is frowned upon between a man of higher caste and a woman of lower caste and one hundred percent unforgivable for a woman of higher caste and a man of lower caste (cf. Andre Beteille). And from my own experience with men they all say this : (this is quite common for Muslim men but I think the virus is bigger than that ;) - thus applies to a LOT of men) there are two types of women - women you fuck and women you marry. The ones that are married are kept sacred and pure (to avoid him from having to care for another man's child as well as to keep property strictly within his own family sphere, this is a good example to link patriarchy and capitalism btw). Now, if ALL women were to deign pornography as acceptable and participate in it, I wonder whether this is sexually liberating or not? In my head I thought that if this was possible then the cards would all be on women's tables. No longer are there women available for so-called purity and subservience, because definitely the women that men can fuck, are always deemed to be OUT OF THEIR CONTROL and therefore out of their jurisdiction, no longer will they be docile animals under the care of the all heavenly father/husband/brother/boyfriend/lover/friend. Note the irony of the argument above, the one that says to avoid him and to keep property within his own sphere, doesn't the idiot realize that his pumping activities may well spread a gallon more of his so-called seeds to twenty different women each producing more children there would be more distribution of his so-called property, I don't understand why they're so frigging stupid, sons loyalties are towards their mothers and the families of their mothers, up to a point they will comply with their patrilineage but sooner or later after the death of the fathers allegiances change (cf. The Lugbara of Uganda). :)

The trick is in the eyes

The ugly ones are REAL women and the beautiful ones are the LADYBOYS

I was scourging for bodyshapers, don't ask me why I thought it might help me with my thrice operated mommy tummy. I felt sorry for myself I thought but what we women don't realize is the fact that there are billions of women surrounding us who are just like us, who have the same problems no matter how fat or how thin they are, they will never ever become as beautiful as Thailand's ladyboys. I think at that point you could understand how powerful it is to become a lesbian woman, but sadly this is not the case for non-politically correct NY, USA depictions of lesbian harmony. You still have to contend with the fact about butch women + femme = regular heterosexual couple (for this we have to refer to even Asian levels of social roles and its expectations etc etc.), what women do NEED is a great sense of humour. I have heard all the stories of men being extremely prejudiced and sexist against women, they're stories that are like staple food for women. Sure sure Ive had people telling me I shouldn't focus much on labels, labels mean nothing and I'm sure they're right because I believe so too sometimes, it could be our conditioning of reality that we perceive the way we want to perceive it (or the things that they taught us to want). what's sad was the fact that women feel so alone, so unwanted while men? I don't know some people say they should be pitied more because they are socially conditioned to believe that they do not need support? Not feel wanted? What pushes us women to WANT to be wanted and loved anyway in the first place? Look, my point is men look better than women when they're women they look better than women, I vote for us women to make our own country and tell the fuckers to fuck off ( :) ) and if they want to fuck fuck each other, that's what men are made for ;)