The fleeting taste of the first

XXX

There is no shortage in science and the internet on how to explain what love is. Biological? Astrological? Spiritual?

One thing for sure that cannot be beaten is the first taste of falling in love, over and over again. Sometimes, some people just fall in love over and over again, leaving a whole truckload of a dumping ground. The taste? Sweet, like a local fruit that you savour on your tongue lilting its flesh underneath your teeth. At times it is like a dark chocolate melting slowly pushing you to orgasmic pleasure. Then comes the kids and then the romance wanes and is replaced by friendship. When they say there's no such thing as love - it's true.


But I ain't tellin you that, you gotta find it out for yourself. And then there's the idea of love, my idea of love is definitely not like yours. My idea of it is full of passion and romance and it's cliches. I love it, my fantasies end until the point where he tells me he's madly in love with me, then my fantasy ends. When it ends I'll make up a new one, a new man in my head comprising of any guy that catches my fancy, good enough only for me.

But friendship is also love, more valuable than the passion and the romance. It is after all fleeting. The love you get after the children are around I suppose is the most worth of anything else. But other than that I'll keep my fantasies and my pillow boyfriends ;)


xoxo

Liyana

Stay at home mothers - I salute

Given that in the West ideas of motherhood are relatively different than here in the East (I have a full-time nanny, and a housemaid, also full-time)I'd like to expound on my own academic thesis concerning the family process. In the West especially among middle-class white families, to live in the same house as their parents is unheard of, here in the East I stay with my large family in a relatively middle class environment, my parents are divorced and the people living in my house is my three kids, my husband, my father, my three siblings, my cousin and my maids. It's pretty noisy, sometimes there are moments of privacy of course but something that is quite different than that in the West's conception of the home and the house.

Now returning on the problems of the stay at home mothers, there are quite a few in my society, not many because women usually work outside the house and they have a barrage of nannies and maids to keep the house running full-time. the extended family is not something to be frowned upon, people save a lot of money staying in one house with large spaces (each of us have our own bedrooms except for smaller children, parents usually sleep with smaller children, sex is when you kick them out of the bedroom and lock the door at any other times they wish, night, afternoon, morning). Now things here are very easy compared to the West, there is no frowning if a large family stays in one large house, it's not unheard of, it's welcoming to older parents who wish to be close to their children and their children's families. I've even heard of cases whereby until the parents feel that they wish to move out because of familial reasons (fighting between siblings, extreme lack of space and privacy for instance) and they eventually do - or they don't. Ever. Pooling resources between siblings to buy large tracts of land and build their houses next door to each other (I've seen a whole block of terraces/ semi-detached houses owned by one large extended family too).

The stay at home mother, a phenomenon I do not disagree with especially in some cases done by wealthier women with a secure financial background at times by working class families who do not have the resources to afford nannies or maids. Now the idea of the stay at home mother is an anathema of Asian culture. when women imply they are stay at home mothers or suri-rumahtangga the idea should not be misconstrued in westernized terms, that they do not contribute financially or physically to the well-being of the occupants of a house. Women that I have met who do claim themselves as 'housewives' (such a degenerative term) had their own businesses, worked in the fields or grew crops for sale or house consumption. How does this make the 'suri-rumahtangga' unviable? This is ridiculous. Women do not stay at home, families are interdependent and children are raised together by whole villages at times, by siblings and the relationship between parent and child although something of a 'bond' idea etched by hallmark is something equally fluid in Southeast Asian societies. Sure, a sibling may raise a sister's child if the sister does not have enough resources and the other sister (or relative) do not have any children. The children's loyalties lie with those who raised them not to those who are their biological parents.

So what is this 'stay at home mothers are looked down upon' idea? Sure there has been some stand-offs between Asian/Black feminists versus Western/White feminists. But this is not a culture than can be easily translated - patriarchal. The words and the arguments of patriarchy are the same and yet women enjoy more freedom in terms of who they are than they do in material/sexual culture of the West. Even in Egypt where the stay at home mother is under the thumb of the oppressive patriarchy there are ways in which these women negotiate their existence, the same can be said in extremely patriarchal Indian or Chinese culture. It's simple, sons loyalties plus money go to mother. Not a single cent goes to the father. When the father stops becoming financially viable it is the mother that holds the reins of the houses' finances. To add to this there were also numerous studies concerning Malay culture whereby the wife and the mother holds the husband's purse, leaving him some money for spending on their comforts such as cigarettes or coffee shop trips. And honestly, I too hold my husband's money and when he needs some money he just asks me.

To put it into some perspective concerning highly patriarchal 'Islamic' societies read Fatima Mernissi, that should put some kick in the schlong.

Ma Jian's 'The Noodle Maker' and Antonia Fraser's 'Marie Antoinette - The Journey'

I found Ma Jian's The Noodle Maker in the bargain section of Booker for $8.50 (I'm not surprised since I found an early Pramoedya Ananta Toer book there too) And I bought another book by a guy called Bolano (nyo on the n, I don't know how to find spanish letters here) but I haven't gone past a few pages. here's what I have to say about Ma Jian.

I found out that it was written after the Tiananmen Massacre and things are on the brink of change in China as new reforms and attempts towards modernisation are being made. I'm not sure but reading too much feminist blogs have provided me a better insight as to how women and womanhood are perceived towards literature shedding a good light on what is wrong with 'presumptuous culture' (a phrase I think I would like to coin myself).

An excerpt from page 52 of a character called Su Yun.

"They invaded every part of me", she wrote, 'They wanted my chastity, but they didn't respect it. I wanted their love, but they just pulled out their dicks and squirted their sperm over me. They destroyed all my dreams. where can I hope to find love now?...Just because they have stolen my innocence from me, does that mean I must lay myself bare and expose every part of myself to them? Men are no better than dogs. They believe that when they lift their legs to piss, the ground beneath them becomes their territory. If I don't conceal my true nature, how can I satisfy their desire for feminine restraint and refinement?"

And another pg.64

"...what do women matter? they just want a man to lean on, they don't mind who he is. Only friends care about a man's quality. Women are products of their environment. They want to pity the unfortunate and sponge off the rich."


It seemed to me at some point that female characters were sort of two dimensional while male characters were hahaha three dimensional figures capable of feeling and logic at a balanced pose whereas women were driven by their emotional state altogether. Sound familiar? Dumb much?

the proverbial wise male and driven woman is throughout this novel. Although I have to admit that at some point it did provided an insight that well, men are sort of trash but the conversations between the blood donor and the state writer even though both were what in modern standards we could define as 'losers' seem to demean womanhood and women even further under the guise of dark comedy, intellect and wisdom. Seriously?


The other book was about Marie Antoinette, although it did shed much light on her maltreatment by the 'Reign of Terror' by the likes of the Girondins and those guys Marat and Robespierre and the animal mob of Paris and Versailles it did not hint the actual suffering of the people compared to the court. Yes, she was a good royal figure, a symbol or emblem of sovereignty but it seemed to make light of the actual suffering going through by regular people. Well her suffering is nothing short of the shit that went throughout France during that time. Yes, she was a scapegoat but for all the good things she has experienced the common french people had absolutely nothing, what she didn't realize is the extreme feelings that went on among the people in their poverty that made them act like they did. It is a bit royalist propaganda in my head for all its majesty. It was not a bad read, it was allright. The court of Versailles and the Royals were all animals it seemed. Spending without a thought and leaving the people extremely destitute and poor. It didn't even mention the horrors of 'seigneuralism'. Although it had made some valid points, revolution at times rarely helped for the good of the people (except in the case of Thailand's great bloodless revolutions) but I wonder if death and destitution is the answer for change? Surely there are better examples? the French Revolution of course, on the other hand should be a must read for everyone and anyone who has half a brain.

"

Evil Slutopia - I like!

SO I found a hidden gem of a blog allright - its at http://evilslutopia.com/ - read and weep bitches! Another site I think people should read is this http://www.smartbitchestrashybooks.com/ . So the lady at Evil Slutopia had taught her daughter to become a feminist, congratulations to her, I hope I can aspire that my own daughter can become like that too. The other problem is that some male idiots just can't SEE that young girls as young as 9 should be taught to SEE that there exists and lurks EVIL in the form of MEN. That MEN are EVIL (not all...MOST).

He thinks that the child is looking at skewed eyes, with a world where women are worshipped for their beauty and NEVER for their brains, where SEXISM is ABOUND AND where young MALE and FEMALE children are being kidnapped, raped, molested and murdered as young as an infant, what kind of an idiot mother would not show her child the HORROR of this world? To PROTECT them. Ridiculous, if you're not a mother just SHUT THE FUCK UP lah

I wish we don't have to wear high-heels

I absolutely detest high heels.

Give it five minutes and walk, they're painful they ruin everything and they're effing scary when you're walking down or up steep stairs imagine falling on your head, breaking your front teeth, etc. I made my husband wear a pair I have that's only an inch high, apparently quite short for women's standards, I made him stand on it for only a minute and try walking. He said these things are unstable and dangerous. I agree.

And yet, high heels are like so a must for porn, either men actually like seeing women in pain to see power OR they're engendered to see women in such a light.

Then I'm thinking about fashion, sure fashion can be pretty empowering for women in the upper echelons, i.e. Anna Wintour, but they're very oppressive as you run down to the bottom.

In short, NO MORE HIGH HEELS!

p/s the red shoes is actually a sculpture but that's the closest picture I could find that was similar to a porn actress. Other than that try watching free porn on xvideos.com, LOL.

Meet The Natives

Although this show was made in 2007 it was only recently that it came to Discovery Asia, it plays on Sundays at 11pm due to the 'nudity' that Asians extremely despise (???). Anyway, despite the hullaballoo of criticism I would have to admit that it had generated more positive comments and criticisms that it did not. Other than that you could watch it on youtube and subscribe to the uploader, one of the guys who actually went to the trip, his username is VanuatuVeritas. I have to admit that the show was very good, very enlightening, very kind, I suppose some editing has been done to cut off chunks of the show as they never showed the process of translation as the chief said things to the people so we don't know although at some point it was translated literally to the English middle class farmers that they considered Prince Phillip as the son of God. This runs on the same theme with another show on Discovery about displacing western families in very localized situations but on the reverse. I was glad about the chiefs' reaction to the pig farming and the insensitivity of artificial insemination disregarding the sexual pleasure of animals (I wonder if PETA thought of that hmm?). Much as the Wests' disgust of so-called 'natives' eating dogs so too the Vanuatu people's disgust of artificial insemination. A very very good show, hopefully somebody watches it lol.

Sita sings the Blues

I watched this film the other day - Sita sings the Blues, sung by Annette Hanshaw and produced by Creative Commons, drawn by NINA PALEY. And the best part is - you're free to pirate it!!! Yes, you are, and not just that, you can remix the music, as she said, the culture belongs to us all. Of all independent cartoon films I've watched, this takes the top prize. I did love Dreaming Awake, or was it Awake? It was about a boy who gets into some sort psychotic dreams meeting philosophy professors and celebrities explaining to him about how we perceive the world. Anyway, not that Sita herself is a female protagnist, I did have a rankling about the female shadow puppet which was actually Sita making a lot of mistakes explaining the story in the beginning but later on the female shadow puppet which was Sita becomes the better narrator than the Hanuman or Rama shadow puppet. Not to degrade the Hindu religion, I did a whole course with Prof. Walker to know that!!! As the avatara of Lakshmi, Sita was on earth to show diligence and uber-patience and good. Even though it might seem sexist but the three female goddesses are complementary to the three male gods. They are one and the same together.

Yes, it did break my heart when Sita gets swallowed by BumiDhevi. BUT, she was free from being in love with Rama at last. Interspersed with the storyline was the life of the artist, Nina Paley and how she broke up with her boyfriend. We can all relate to being dumped - honestly it seems that ALL women are dumped, they play the cards not us. Rarely do women get to play the cards and win - and dump them. They might say oh, yeah that's what you want, but the truth is? Anyway, my kids all three of them sat down quietly to watch it from beginning to end, then dragged the movie thing at the bottom of WMPlayer and watched it again. An adult movie that appeals to a 5 year old, a 4 year old and a 2 year old? Must watch. Like Spirited Away, Howl's Moving Castle and Princess Mononoke. By the way, my kids watched five minutes of Transformers 2 and walked away. I agree - dumb movie, even a 2 year old can identify that.

The other thing that I watched was DOUBT
and I didn't know that it was a play before this. Amazing superb performance, I especially liked the climax during the conversation between the boy's mother and Sister Aloysius. It's one of those movies that keeps you guessing what? Like The Banquet - what?

I thought I had to...

I thought this was a nice comparison...

Dear Caster Semenya

Even if this post never reaches you, which I doubt will, I would like to share a story. Once upon a time, a child was born, as intersexed as you, in a country called Malaysia. She was registered as a boy and her name was Zulkifli Ahmad. In a world where homophobia and xenophobia exists, she became a beacon of hope. She, like you, too identified herself as a woman.

A lot of stupid, heartless people liked to make fun of her, they liked to hurt her, but she did not care and she went on to make a lot of films that showed the problems in which the Malaysian society faced. Recently, she had passed away, leaving a large spot for people to fill in, which is almost impossible. Not a lot of people understood her vision and yet she became one of the most celebrated icons of her time, and her name was Yasmin Ahmad.

So you don't NEED to feel inadequate for who you are. What you need to do is raise your feet to this hostile world and give them a BIG FAT FUCK YOU.

Love,

Liyana T

Abandoned

An abandoned baby was found - at least, alive . Not that I'm surprised. Most likely in this case it's an underaged mother afraid of persecution, or was raped, etc. etc. Unfortunately, cases of baby abandonment is even more rampant in highly patriarchal/conservative communities. In this case, the Middle East (all Abrahamic faiths), Greek islands, Russia, heck, anywhere where patriarchy can be found. In Brunei too, in a year there are about two or three abandoned infants. What I don't get is this, why in the world would it be better to kill an innocent infant in comparison to what other people say? Why do YOU think that being criticized by other people who do not care nor feed nor wish you well is important? Is it some sort of sociological conditioning component? An instilled fear of others' judgements? Sigh.

3 a.m.

sitting here made me realize something. My husband's family are working class people, most of which actually work as infantrymen in the army. Last year when my senior class graduated, some of my friends (I'm proud to say WOMEN and men) joined the army and automatically became lieutenants, this was in lieu (pardon the pun) with the fact that they owned bachelor degrees. Hearing them talk I also realized that they would not be the ones who wold be battling in the fields. They would be, if there was war, within closed quarters under air-conditioning, as consultants as to how best they could win the war. They would not be involved in the trenches, dying. They are considered the 'educated few' whose values and resources are much prized over other people'. But knowing this bothers me. I look at these infantry men, they work hard, they suffer more. Stories supplanted to me by my friends who quit the military showcase that they as leaders were forced to instill discipline and in the course of doing so, break their own souls. They quit because they did not have the heart nor the soul to punish people over something trivial all in the name of discipline. They are people, whose worth I'm sorry to say if it upsets the middle and upper class, equally as worth in life, in death. And yet from the evidence we know this not to be true. The middle and upper echelons will always be protected. Their lives more cushioned and satisfactory, than those below. Their knowledge, albeit fucked up as it were is considered as gold.

There is something wrong with all of us.

Over-capitalism

A very good article that I've found talking about how much of the stuff that we buy we don't really need or use at all. All that excess and waste. I'm not a religious person myself but I think I would have to agree with the pope that excessive wealth is a sin. Not just spiritually but financially, emotionally, psychologically and everything else in that bandwagon.

Dibo the Gift Dragon

Given that I have the opportunity to watch closely how children are socialized and I believe at some points and some parts I almost have the power to control what the children think and feel at this point. It becomes obvious that gender assignation between femininity and masculinity in childhood is so strongly reinforced, thus producing children with the ability to see the world in those said eyes. Although the world of children are not made up entirely of television, nevertheless they contain bits and pieces of the mechanism that helps children to 'understand' the world. Added to that formula, the prejudices of teachers and parents too make up a child's perception. However, this could work on the opposite case for instance myself and a friend of mine who had a mother and an aunt respectively who were extremely prejudiced (my mother prejudiced and sexist, her aunt xenophobic) whereas herself and myself turned out exactly the opposite, and its not even about 'revenge' at all or 'acting out' (its possible as well to assign such symptoms to women, this is because in the Asian and Muslim world women are considered half of a man, or an incomplete man).

In this case I wanted to talk about Dibo the Gift Dragon. Fascinatingly, there are only two female characters in Dibo the Gift Dragon, Annie and Bunny. Annie in the theme song was 'I'm Annie, I'm kind and I love to cook'. The 'other' female was Bunny, she is the archetypal 'bitchy woman' who stands up for herself and love to make herself pretty, on the other hand Annie (who incidentally is the only human rag doll) only wishes to help others and is very well-liked. For one thing, Bunny is a pink doll, I'm not sure why she is not any other color but its obvious that pink is associated with frivolous womanhood whereas in Annie's case she wears a chef top hat (constantly) and an apron and is constantly cleaning up for everyone else including Bunny (the rest of the cast is an all male cast). In addition to that the clever and the stupid characters are male. Even in this childrens' show it seems that there is already a delineation of the sexes and apparently the spectrum of womanhood is only two, the bitchy Bunny and the subservient Annie.

Chopping up female body parts

What makes youth equal to beauty? Has anyone ever wondered that?
I had a cousin who thought that he hates Fergie because for him she looks old and wrinkly. In my opinion I thought Fergie was smashing. He explained (not to stereotype gay men) that gay men generally believe that looking wrinkly is OUT OF THE QUESTION!Why is there an obsession of youth and equalizing it with beauty? What happens when women and men become older? Are they less attractive? Do they not deserve sexual or emotional gratification? The odd thing with this is that there is a new market for the 'Slutty granny' and the 'Dirty Old Bastard' type of fetish pornography. This in turn sexualizes mainly older women rather than old men (but in turn shows that they are ahem virile).

Lets look at a few examples from North America (the U.S.) and Europe.

Note that Dame Judi Dench and Maggie Smith kept their wrinkles whereas I assume Cher would be in the same age group as Judi Dench is sans wrinkles, so is Goldie Hawn who looks fifty rather than sixty.

Including this parody of womenhood in a anti-WYSIWYG kind of tagline




And also,




Is it noticeable that the object of focus is womenhood MUST = to BEAUTY. Whereas Older Women are considered 'Stale' 'Uninviting', "Not Sexually Appealing'. And yet Judi Dench was hailed as sexually appealing by Adam Brody.

But why stop there?

Why is it necessary for womenhood to be equivalent to sexuality? Whenever womenhood are bereft of it (Note: The Hottie and the Nottie) it is considered a social stopper. Why? Is it possible that this form of thinking (thank you radical feminists) have somewhat stopped women from becoming wholly and completely in an equal standing with men?

I rest my case

Futurama Forever

Why do I like Futurama?

Simple. Its stupid. Its crazy. Its extremely intelligent. I let my kids watch it. After the death of the Simpsons Matt Groening created Futurama. To compare either one of them I would of course, much to the consternation of the world around me. Vote for Futurama.

Why?

Well, The Simpsons could get a bit dry from time to time. Marge can get annoying. Homer the dumb redneck whose not even a redneck, the emblem of what's wrong with America and yet time and again he shocks his viewers with his kindness, etc. etc. Then there's Bart, what's there to say about Bart? Of course I love Lisa, she and I share a lot of traits excepting the fact that she's concentrated with science rather than social sciences. We both like Jazz. Then there's Maggie suckling on her pacifier and the fact that Marge can just leave Maggie alone (weird, as a Mom, weird). And the denizens of Springfield. Who would have thought that Skinner is not the real Skinner? (which I admit was one of the most shocking facts of The Simpsons). Sigh.

But Futurama?

I don't know. There's spaceships, stupidity, a female captain, a drunkard/bastard robot, a dumb Fry, the insane professor, the rastafarian bureaucrat, zap brannigan, the extremely wealthy asian, the jewish crab (Go Zoidberg!). Plus it boggled my brains out when earth got sucked into itself repeatedly.

why do you haunt me so?

Honestly, and most truthfully, if a man who looks like this passed me by. I would literally shut down keep quiet, act stupid and fall madly erratically in love and get my heart broken at the same time. Why is it so acceptable for a man to sing songs of love for a woman whom he does not know and does not understand and yet when a woman does so she is scorned to pieces? And why is it so wrong for a woman to pursue a man and yet when a man does so it is perfectly allright? These I suppose are one of the many discrepancies that haunt the Muslim world, and by proxy the whole world thereafter. Fatimah Az Zahra asked for the hand of Ali ibn Talib. Khadijah for the hand of Muhammad s.a.w. And yet today, ask any Muslim woman if she intends to chase for her lover. I suppose not. And yet this one tugs my heartstrings. If only if only ;). Yutaka Takenouchi if you read this and if by some chance miracle (hahaha!) you are worthy of emotional, physical and psychological worship. I suppose when God made this one They made sure that he looked like providence. And honest to God, it I think this one 'mandi bunga'lah!

One Fifth Avenue by Candace Bushnell

I had read Sex and the City years ago when I got really really interested in the TV series. I had always loved the way that the story was made to make fun of the ladies. At some point they were shallow, stupid, mean, rude like all New Yorkers (supposedly I suppose) are and they are also kind, sweet, nice, loving towards one another. The book on the other hand was far more edgier than the TV series which tried to gloss things over to make it seem a 'little' better.

To get to the point I bought One Fifth Avenue expecting and hoping that it was as edgy as Sex and the City. At first, the story got too long and droned and after awhile, about exactly halfway it started to take one a life of its own. The details were endless and I think a bit meaningless, it was a version of chicklit but in this version the writer is not some hopeful or hoping female feeding the masses and masses of women images of a romance, a career and havin it all (i.e. Shopaholics Anonymous, Little Black Books???) as a girl makes their way into the big city. No, like her I do love the cynicism and the put down, I love the sound of dreams crushing under the heels of shoes either high or low. Well here it is, and I think despite its slowness and those hopeful and hoping for a good romantic ending, there is but it doesn't even matter,the whole point is this. This is a story of women who try to play by the rules of men and living in a man's man's world. It is not a radical feminist story BUT, as these women, the late Mrs Houghton, the gossip columnist Enid Merle, Schiffer Diamond, Mindy Gooch and ofcourse, Annalisa Rice are women made of steel, unencumbered like Lola Fabrikant, experienced, hard as nails and are pretty damn sure that there is no such thing as true love.

The stupid hymen

In most countries in SouthEast Asia if you want a rich husband, please do not hesitate by claiming yourself a virgin, buy some poor girls' hymen and paste it on yourself. The problem with the hymen is this, only 43% of women actually report bleeding occurring when the hymen is opened during first sexual intercourse, found here and an interesting article pointed out in sociological images, here . This is the reason why a lot of cultures in the East actually discourage young women to be working (especially if they could afford it, poor girls, please start working and peel the garlic skins!) Or have any vigorous work done, all in the name of protecting a non-existent flap of skin which amazingly still exists even after you give birth, and for some people has the ability to heal and re-attach itself thus become re-virginized. Oh for the sake of humanity's stupidity, hope you idiots go 'f' yourselves :)

Just to show how easily the wind of the media sways

I added a guy a few months back who was a member of A.N.S.W.E.R (Act Now to Stop War & End Racism) on my facebook. Despite all thta has been going on around the world, war-torn Urumqi which I just found out about and a beauty contest --> here

Then about this guy, Michael Prysners' tireless effort in trying so hard to help war victims in Palestine. Ironically, after the siege in Gaza a few weeks later so short it was the human memory span and everyone started talking about Michael Jackson again, the damned swine flu (which I think I already had.... I suppose this was what the Israeli government counted on, for heavens' sake we can always rely on the media can't we? Sure the numerous countless things that everybody said during the siege earlier this year. It was all hype, hip and cool. Now that things are still going on 'over there' people seem to forget the whole thing altogether. And when someone of authority comes along (a.k.a THE Sultan) everyone scampers like dogs when a lot of people behind the scenes have been trying to countlessly remind people over and over again. The memory span of a regular average human being? - fifteen seconds



oh btw, please donate ;) cos shit hell if ever I was in a war sick destitute and dying I hope against hope that someone out there would hand out some money to help my family and friends.

Gone With the Wind

After years and years it has passed me by never bothering to check out what it was I was reading the UK's BBC top 100 reading list. One of them was Margaret Mitchell's Gone With the Wind, a 1000 page reading fiesta full of well. So there I went and bought Gone With the Wind and I have to say it was amazing, satisfying, interesting and rendering read. I have never for once looked in and out at something and realized what a fantastic read it was, of course it was a far cry from the movie starring Clark Gable and Vivien Leigh (which I liked and did not like at the same time, if only I was given the opportunity to remake it!). The book had its characters in a deeper light than did anything else. There it was the image of the South, I have to admit, racist, prejudiced, sexist and everything else permissible during when it was written (1936) and the setting of the book during the late 18th century American Civil War. What I found amazing are the characters of Uncle Peter and Mammy who actually 'owned' their masters and mistresses. Just as Scarlett's other, Ellen remarked that they should treat darkies like children, so did they Mammy and Uncle Peter considered their masters and mistresses their children that they have to take care of. Mammy's constant caring and cringing of Scarlett and Ellen while Uncle Peter's protecting of Aunt PittyPat. They were free blacks taking care of their weak masters and vice versa. One part of the movie which I loved was when Scarlet was driving around with Uncle Peter and meeting the Yankees wives. One of them asking where she could find a nanny, Scarlett saying that they could pick any darkies. The Yankee wife exclaiming hotly that she would never ever put her child with a 'nigger'. Uncle Peter, hurt and pained while Scarlett defending him by saying he was family. Either way slavery or freedom both contained connotations of pain for either side of people. In the book, the Southerners feared one day that a darkie will lead their nation (hahahahaha!!! They should reprint the book again in commemoration of Barrack Obama's presidency earlier this year). Things have greatly changed, since then but change will always come with pain, now I'm remembering the movie Luther when he revolutionized Christianity with his own sect. But either way, I liked Ashley although he was an idiot, and Scarlett who for me was kind of evil but impressive woman (any person who would rather either of their children to die in replacement of one dead child scares me), I admired Rhett for his kindness towards Wade Hamilton which was nonexistent in the movie. And Melanie I really liked for her soft exterior and extremely strong interior. And I loved the ending when Scarlett was pained by the death of Melanie. I think the racists today from the KKK are those hanging on to the past of wealth and cotton fields and romance with wealth deriving from slaves. Whatever the case it showed one side of the story, to balance it out one should read The Color Purple and Beloved.

Who would have thought?

---> http://www.evanstone.com/bio_main.htm

As usual I was surfing hot men, and of course porn stars do not escape my scrutiny. In the porn industry business I have heard extremely negative as well as extremely positive and everything else in between about pornography. In this case, Evan Stone seems to specialize in the genre where he looks like a Greek sexgod and it also seems that he has graced many a romance novel cover as a model. Reading his partial biography made me rethink some aspects concerning the fight against pornography, despite the actions that were displayed by pornography what is apparent is the fact that the whole wide world attaches deeply towards the actions of pornography. In the case of the American porn industry, they are highly specialized actors and actresses who spend a large portion of their money and time to look extremely good, at times comical and of course extremely made up with make-up. The odd thing is that the wide world has attached meanings to the actions displayed by the porn industry. Meanings of women as being seductresses and cheap. Meanings of the sexual stallion. But the biography given attest differently, he didn't sound sexist (amazing!) in fact he kind of sounded respectful about women and honestly he sounded ...human. Pornography in more ways than one, especially female pornstars of course would milk everything they could to display an image of alluring sexuality its their job. The sad thing is the stereotypical idea by regular men is that they think this should be the norm or the ideal and that these women actually enjoy being fucked. Watching some documentaries on pornography could make people think otherwise. Some do enjoy their jobs, others just think of it as a job like any other. If only more and more porn actors and actresses would display their human side. Like the fact that they wake up caked up with eye crusts with bad breath. They fart, smell and everything else in between everyone else does.

Fat Girl Syndrome

When I did a course on sociology of the body I realized something. Females in patriarchal communities look at themselves through the eyes of males. Their judgement of their value and self-worth is through what they can do for men and their sexuality. Ironically, the male yardstick measures itself via other men's eyes and not through what women might think of them. The male gaze since then has been a heated subject of debate that showcases how bent women are and how much social construction has ingrained themselves in HER brain. I wonder whether radical feminism was not right when they fought for the emancipation of women. What is true however, is the fact that women are (and probably to some extent men too) and do have, the fat girl syndrome. Their judgement is over themselves and their shame, the hag, the crone, the bitch, the slut, these are swear words adjusted especially for women. What do men get? prick? motherfucker? son of a bitch? jerk? (honestly what does jerk mean? does it mean beef jerky? like what small dick or something?) and the word prick, what's so bad to be called a prick anyway? A prick, repeat after me, prick as in prick your finger. Bastard, also a swear word connoted with its role with women, motherfucker (duh). Gay men criticize women, wome criticize women men criticize women. I hope this was thought provoking :P

Kate & 8

see ---> http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20286839,00.html

Actually, I've never liked Jon ever since I saw him. I thought he was a jerk to his wife the way he dropped sexist comments to her all the time. But seeing the world is a sexist world, all I see is that they highlight Kate's anger towards her husband and that she 'pushed' her husband to cheating (my GOD, he pushes her around with sexist comments you don't see HER cheating). I thought the way they displayed Kate was extremely unfair. I am a mother too with three small children and I too married young. And honestly, there are days where I feel like hitting my children just because to make them tougher. And people being people seem to like to blame mothers for everything. In the 50s they blamed mothers for making their sons homosexuals if they're too close to them (so what?).

They showed her as a selfish mother, she's not. Look she had eight kids so what? They said the same thing sending death threats to the OctoMom. They say wasting taxpayers' money, for what? For sixteen citizens? Don't you check facts? I'm not American and even I know that only a WHOPPING 5 PERCENT of taxpayers' money goes to welfare, you really want to get angry? Although I wold have to admit a lot of that anger stems from parents who might have lost their love ones through the unfair health system in America. But to blame Kate and OctoMom is a pretty easy way out. What they're angry and this is very obvious towards single mothers everywhere in America, is the fact that they're SINGLE MOTHERS. They're blamed because they didn't manage to hold on to MEN who are WORTHLESS except for their sperm in the FIRST PLACE.


I see the children, sure I 'kesian' (not a direct translation of the word pity haa), but that's that, one day they'll grow up and they'll be fine.

Why women in this world are violently raped and treated

Late last year an article in Malaysia's Berita Harian (which the link disappeared!) talked about a couple with four children whose husband requested his wife undergo vaginoplasty. She commented that she felt hurt but she did go through with it. What wasn't told was that vaginoplasty actually minimizes a woman's sexual pleasure, so there, her husband gets to go heigh-ho on her while she just lies there with no feeling whatsoever. He 'neutered' her and took away any sexual desire that she may have. HE made her into an animal. And you're telling this story off hand as if they don't mean anything.

see this ---> http://www.wired.com/wiredscience/2007/08/g-shots-for-g-s/

and this ---> http://jezebel.com/gossip/top/pimp-my-vadge-a-womans-opinion-264835.php

and you tell me if a woman is not considered human at all? These are days when I feel so bad about how much social pressure a woman has to go through to exist. If only and I hope to God, somebody would listen and realize that they're being taken advantage of, that they are actually RAPED (within which the person thinks it was consensual when actually it was not)that we have created a world in which we subjugate women to the role of animals that it has become normal.

Then and Now - What's the Difference?

In the 1950s there were books on women's etiquette. It was the years of Talcott Parsons, of fundamentalist theories of structuralism. These books often highlight the proper way in which to be a good wife. One of the tips if I could properly remember was about after cleaning up the house, making dinner and doing everything else in between the mother (and wife) should bathe the children and keep them in clean and smart clothes. They were after all 'jewels' and he should come home to see his 'perfect' family. Other things included 'don't nag, he has already had a hard time at work without you needing to prod and nag him, pick other times to speak of difficult subjects'. Think, Mona Lisa Smile (2003) where ladies most of them don't go off finishing their university degrees.

Beastly? Sexist? Outdated and Old-Fashioned? LOL, I found these TODAY on my MSN News

http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/staticslideshowcosmo.aspx?cp-documentid=20153796&imageindex=5

I quote one line 'Leaving Stuff Behind at His Place - Do This: "Forget" your necklace.
Leave behind a pretty, delicate piece of jewelry (such as a little gold necklace) and he'll think of you in similar terms every time he sees it.

Leaving Stuff at His Place

Not That: Leave a toothbrush in his bathroom.
An unsolicited toothbrush or other toiletry will give him the impression you're moving too fast — and may freak him out.'

Sounds familiar? I don't see anything from the AskMen.com section, let's see

doc love's answer
Hi Payn,

I’m sorry to hear about your past dating disasters. Let me explain something to you. Two things happen in a relationship: Like my cousin Fast Eddie Love from East L.A. says: “Either you break up, or worse, you get married.” Whoever gets out of the relationship first suffers less. So when you tell me that you went down in flames in your previous relationships, that indicates to me that you didn’t get rid of these girls -- they got rid of you. So what a guy should do is look at all of his relationships over the past two or three years -- all 10, 15 or 20 women he went out with -- and ask himself how many he dropped and how many times he was dropped. If you dumped all those women, or 18 out of the 20, then you don’t need my coaching.

When it comes to women, pushing too hard too early is the biggest problem that 90% of all the men out there have. Rather than relax and just enjoy themselves and let the woman set the pace, they push. They push themselves right out of the picture. To you Psych majors, when you invade a female’s comfort level, she feels pressured and she gets turned off. That’s when you hear those horrible words from her: “I need space!” At that point, of course, it’s already too late.


Either way, I feel like puking. Look at his advice, pull out quickly! dump as many as you like, They're THE ENEMY. Look at the women's messages - coax, be covert, subtlety, be subservient.

Oh btw, Cosmopolitan also says ' What to do in the event his penis fractures during sex'. AMAZING. How does a soft muscle tissue fracture like a bone exactly? I wonder where both these men and women go to school? The fuck and sex great school majoring in idiocy and stupidity? Congratulations MSN Dating and AskMen.com's dating and sex is in the top ten of dumbass :)

Our limited Choices

I was joining my aunt's YoVille,a game on facebook. I realized one thing. Isn't it obvious that the choices in which we have to pick ourselves male or female is limited? Hair for instance or eyes, face. What about body? What if people did not want to be thin? (there was only one choice, duh). Or short, or tall? Ofcourse its just a game. But a GAME that can be read as a text, a discourse. As cultural pointers of human expectations. We exist in a world that has its own taboos idiosyncracies. These taboos be it 'natural' as in being born with a challenge (definitely the idea of it as a challenge or not is subjective) or socially pushed has its effects on all of us. Our reality our perceptions everything, has been pulled down already every author every writer in the academic circles has talked about this. Derrida himself, who deconstructs absolutely everything has made it extremely difficult for our lives. And yet how is it that we have a problem reaching to the masses? Dear Anthropologists and Sociologists, no matter how hard we try to make people see every side of the coin. It seems at times that it is futile and painful. But (sigh) it has to be done, we have to reach the masses after all.

conceiving sexuality

Now that I have a bit of time to blog. I want to talk about Lori L. Heise's essay in the edited book conceiving sexuality. I would have to say, it was very good work. She asked the question it is not that we should be talking about 'manliness' or 'womanliness' and all that these things are rooted in biology. Or that 'boys will be boys' but rather to ask the questions, 'what causes masculine behaviour'? And what social constructions that have allowed them to behave like so? It is amazing when we work past and I understand this is all due to postmodernist discourse (by not taking it too far, yeah Dr. M, I get it ). I am just perpetually amazed at how simple and easy everything is. And it equally saddens me that we actually allow such actions to be construed meaninglessly. Get back to the drawing board and think more :) Btw, is it possible to look at masculinity via the way we train children? I know Kimball did excellent although I find sadly unfinished work concerning it.

The last point

I found something interesting, an article written for a singles online column, and I thought, my God there must be something wrong here ---->

http://uk.match.yahoo.net/matchscene/article.aspx?articleid=10326&TrackingID=523899&BannerID=568690

I wouldnt be surprised if the authors of this article are daft and stupid which I'm so painfully aware of (one of them thought that Japan is in Europe and its all in one land mass, talk about being smart), and covering it up by pretending to be intellectual with men The aim is simple, to look for a man, for what exactly?

Two days ago a stepfather was committed for raping his two year old stepdaughter, now 4, and abused along with his wife, a toddler the news called Baby P who sustained such horrific injuries that the child passed away.

I don't think its a high time to look for men, this just leads towards the dependency of women towards men. Point said.

I just wanted to talk about Cinta Indah

At least, in Brunei or anywhere around Southeast Asia, a female writer with opinions will not be harrassed with hatemail, although I am not sure how long this will continue considering the fact that men are getting more and more patriarchal. Who would have thought that the West places so much pressure so much censorship on women. I was browing in the Daily Mail, I know it was complete crap but I just wanted to read what was so interesting that made people clamor over it. First and foremost, the articles are judgemental and show only a one sided view. Secondly, believe it or not, extremely sexist, honestly as bad as Malay Asia is with its ideas of 'No matter how high a woman may go, the kitchen is where she will end up in...', I don't think that applies to the upper middle class nor the upper class, say as they like. I cannot imagine living in such pressure bombarded and supported with something as flippant as 'biological fact'. Ignoring the implications of interpreting such data to their favour. Okay, this was what the article was about, who is healthier? Women or men? They concluded men because, 'Although women live longer, men enjoy better health because they have lesser pain,'. Not to mention the fact that society kind of pushes women into high heeled shoes to become presentable or edgy at work, not to be made fun of, suffer from back and hip pain because of. What's the difference exactly from Old China's bounded feet girls? I mean the pain is translatable, the reality is that. No matter how hard they want to push the agenda of the 'other' as being completely volatile towards women, the Occident treats women as badly and just as worst. No plus or minus about that.

Anyway, I wanted to talk about Cinta Indah, what with my amahs throwing things at the television set and getting angry about a woman named Indah in Astro Aruna. She suffers continuously and life is a complete bitch for her, and she's so patient, and when push comes to shove she just sits on the floor and cries. In reality, Indonesian women, even my maids, get pissed off over this girls' inability to counteract and survive. The maids come from rural or suburban areas, they knew how to survive in this world and they try hard to negotiate with it, along comes this weakling named Indah who just cries if shit happens. The representation the media then cannot be taken as the full reality. They are a separate reality altogether, duh.

Just to push the last point on the white standard of beauty

As I said, there are not much black or Asian models, further proof that says no matter how hard you work for something, you'll never cut it, people like to tell you lies :)

(Although, some things are worth fighting for)






although I have to say much of the criticism comes from black models who have made it I find it hard for Asian women to 'make' it, they have a larger audience that scrutinizes them harder, often if an Asian woman is considered beautiful like Lucy Liu, some Chinese lady would say, if she's in Singapore she wouldn't even be considered attractive (which is true considering they like white skin and Caucasian features, not all mind you). Asian women do have a harder time considering that most are shorter than Caucasians and Blacks.

Seriously - The FACE of Relationships?

I notice I often talk about Western type relationships more often than other types, but this is because it pervades our culture more readily than say, a relationship between two Sharanahua people. See the jump? Good. Honestly, if these links are the face of relationships, I don't want to be on, in, over, above, and/or below it. :-

http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/articleoprahmatch.aspx?cp-documentid=18651861&page=2

http://iamsorceress.wordpress.com/2007/09/09/top-five-mistakes-women-make-in-relationships/

http://www.gettinghimback.com/

See my point? I've seen feminists raving mad angry, honestly I would be raving mad angry, in fact I am raving mad angry. Its about women getting men back, women doing the RIGHT thing in relationships, WOMEN WOMEN WOMEN WOMEN WOMEN WOMEN WOMEN. Makes me sick to the stomach, makes me fucking frustrated. Are there a lot of sites on how men try to get their ex-wives back? No. Are there sites on men bitching about how difficult women are? No. Are there bla3s of men's mistakes with women? No. There are none of these things, honestfuckingtruthfully, the double standard still stands, despite the so-called new age guy who is fighting off sexism, in one post he starts ranting about his neighbour who looks like a slut, btw he calls himself the open mind. The truth is new age men are sexists, just in a different shade, different mask. Just as there are different masks for justifying prejudice, race hate, ethnic bashing, over terms such as 'religion' justification, 'biological men vs. women' justification. Honestly ladies, you know that kind of man you call 'loser' you've seen them, you hate them, you make more money than them, you can change the lightbulb yourself thank you, fix the electricity, pump the gas, fill the air tyres, change the fucking tyres, you can do all of these things. Is it wrong for me to blame this on the essence of colonialism just as Ann Stoller? I wonder. If you're better than some men, isn't it obvious that people are created differently and thus equally dumb or equally intelligent? Amananta of Screaming Into the Void made an excellent article post is here

http://amananta.wordpress.com/2009/01/22/more-evo-psycho-bullshit/

I mean honestly, there's no biological justification, no scientific fact, people have discredited that, have fought that back, have given numerous countless examples and still some idiot just says - its an evolutionary/biological fact, if that is so, its more than not easier to treat other races than white as animals, why? Because it is thought that the Australopithecus and the Neanderthalensis are two different distinct species, see? Australopithecus, ancestor of the Australian aborigines , the Melanesians, Negroids, Polynesians, etc etc, Neanderthalensis, ancestor of the Caucasian species, the Middle Easterners, the Europeans lalala and a host of other 'white' skin versus us, dark skinned. Honestly if this was true the intermarriage between the white and the dark would be a transgression of nature, an interspecies mistake. Like that between the Horse and the Donkey, or the Wolf, the Fox and the Dog, oh wait, or like the Cat mating with the Lion or the Tiger. I'm getting sick and tired of this relationship shit they keep feeding us with.

The big beautiful world

Sometimes, its easy to forget that the world is not as small as it is in our heads. That the world out there is so expansive and large that everything under the sun is so amazing. These series of Times photographs on spiritual healing can attest to that, http://www.time.com/time/photogallery/0,29307,1878443_1842226,00.html

The world of zelda

I was watching my brother play legend of zela on the wii, and I thought the Faron forest especially the Southern part looked absolutely beautiful. I wonder, is there any place on earth that still looks like that? Untouched, unraped? Soon, the rest of the Bornean forest will be gone. Its thick beautiful wild jungles will be lost forever, for what? For a measly few hundred thousand dollars that once you spend will be gone in a second. MNCs and the super extreme billionaires are standing on the corpses of our nature. Sure, they give and support charity, but the amount that has made them wealthy is not equivalent to what they have done to the environment, I am sure at some level they understand and know what they are doing to the earth. I think us 'small' people are able to change the world, we don't need to play by their rules, we are the majority, don't let yourself be bought.

the white standard of beauty

So I was tralalaing with my two weeks previous extreme food poisoning, the assault at the parking lot, don't worry my husband and I immediately called the police, then now I'm dealing with a flu I caught from my colleague (well using classmate didn't seem appropriate at this university level...), which in turn spread to my kids and my kid's nanny and my siblings. Aside from all these things I had a good rest and I could read blogs! Yayy!

So I want you people to check out this
http://www.racialicious.com/2007/02/21/real-women-of-color-have-curves/
http://stuffwhitepeopledo.blogspot.com/2008/04/impose-their-beauty-standards-on-others.html
http://parablemania.ektopos.com/archives/2005/05/interracial_cou.html

Before I begin I have to say that blogging has become a new forefront for appropriate academic research especially through articles and human experiences, some I might add reflect a reality not showcased enough within academic research even.

Let me explain one thing before I continue, I have a sister who is 7 years younger than me, this year she's turning 18 and I'm turning 24. Ever since we were children I was always overweight and my sister, even for my mother was alarmingly thin. Honestly, both of us eat about the same amount, we don't eat much, but I think she eats more than me but I this is because she's growing or her metabolism is faster. We both have the same genetic information, we are after all sisters. We have the same body typeface (nice use of the word haa?) A thicker skin on our back (if there was more it would look like a hump :)), we're the same height, my breasts are bigger than hers, twice bigger, I'm a D and she's a B, we both do not possess curvy bottoms, some malay women actually do possess this, my daughter has this but from my mothers side we dont have this, so it would seem buttockless. There is a tendency to worship fairer skinned malay girls, with chinese eyes but more often than not Malay men do not often date chinese women, they prefer Malay girls with Chinese features or extremely fair skin, knowing that the Chinese in Brunei especially local Chinese hail from the Southern part of China they're more tanned than the Malays in Brunei (the Malay category in Brunei is different from Malaysian Malays and Indonesian Malays, Bruneian Malays have a tendency to be lightskinned). Now the remaining question is this, because of the emulation of thin girls, from Chinese light skin worship, thin girls are considered beautiful, but because of things like female stetophygia or as Malays call it, jubur tunggi, or bottom that looks like a duck's bottom, how will the other Malays who are darker skinned (which is also equally common), with female stetophygia, are bigger in body fare in this society? I would also like to point out that some Malay men do have a thing for bigger women though, and yes I think big men and big women are the world over so that does not matter, but are we represented well?

I made this research a while ago, there is a lesser tendency for black women and asian men to be represented in Western media as being sexually attractive. I aint talking about those half white half black ladies who look a lot like white to me like Mariah Carey, may I add Beyonce, and Halle Berry who has a white parent, I'm talking about real dark-skinned women, and real Asian men, not your run of the mill may I say it cos I'm quarter Chinese? 'chingchong' chinaman, but Asian men who are bereft of glasses, with tall statures, they exist you know, I wonder if you've seen them! oh yeah before I go on, I wonder where Indians are in the picture, you know as models in the international arena? They're the right size, the 'right looks', where are they? Honestly, there is a standard for beauty and that standard is white. White women do not realize this, even in feminist discourses, they are at the top of the food chain, while the rest of us are at the bottom of the barrel, barely scraping, we do not need men to justify our existence and we do not need men to justify our sexuality, it should not be them who decide whether or not we are beautiful.

The theory of religion - Freud's Totems and Taboo

Despite the fact that I suspect a lot of people find my columns boring or difficult (I have to add, I find Michel Foucault difficult, I find the language of philosophers tedious, I understand), nevertheless I need to talk about something, I scribbled fast and furiously just as my lecturer was talking. I could not help at that moment to present my criticisms against Sigmund Freud's Totems and Taboo. To begin with, he's a humanist evolutionist, I have nothing against humanism nor evolutionism per se, but it becomes problematic when you label an Australian Aborigine then during the late 19th century as being a backward peoples. First and foremost is the injunction of labelling aboriginal or pre-literate societies/communities and placing them on the evolutionary scale. What basis do you have of placing communities as part of the evolutionary process then proclaiming that Westernized science is at the end of that scale? This is just the same problem as those idiots who say that they don't live on trees in Borneo, sure no community on this island live on trees, people do squid fish using technology either simple or complex, I have never heard of an 'Orang Ulu' [sic] of ever living on a tree. This is just the comparison of placing man, a homo sapien sapien man with that of an ape or a monkey, not that apes or monkeys do not deserve any respect either. But the problem here alongside this group of Borneans who say they do not live on trees is the fact that there exists this 'looking down' this 'condescending' of other communities and cultures. There is no justification for placing communities within the evolutionary scale, culture cannot be explained through science. Leave culture to trained social anthropologists and sociologists, let not so-called scientists who are not even trained properly with even proper terminology let alone biased ideas of ethnocentrism be giving comments and leaving after their dead, their theories to be 'scientific' and the 'truth'. Haven't you people learned? Science, is changeable, its malleable, everyday new facts are unearthed to replace older ones, they do not stay static. It is continuously challenged and tested.

The other thing you psychologists must explain to me is the idea of the 'Primordial father', one cannot ignore the idea that Freud's original analaysis of the mind is definitely sexist in agenda. Why do I have penis envy? Sure I am hostile to my mother at times but I am also as equally as hostile to my father at times, I do not envy the penis! You think that I envy the penis, but the truth remains hidden, womanhood is a conception created within one's own community and society, there exist other conceptions of womanhood of different societies who treat sexuality differently. If that is so how is it conceivable to place them within that evolutionary scale? Of 'blablabla at the beginning...backward tribes worship the Mother Goddess..', then according to evolutionists..'where then they ascribe anthropomorphic images of the Primordial Father, the Mother Goddess becomes obsolete and only practiced by backward peoples...' then and now, 'religion becomes obsolete as man will no longer aspire to need a God/Goddess/Deity/Whatever, and will come to depend on themselves for spiritual fulfilment..'.

The explanations of why people need God and religion vary, some say because of hard times that need explaining, some say because of the original ancestor worship, others like Freud say it is a necessary tool to keep the chaos within ourselves in an ordered fashion. I do not agree nor disagree with any of these propositions, what becomes disagreeable however, is the sexist agenda that is apparent in Freud's conception of womenhood. It is as if women are but passive players in this world built by men, when in reality this is far from the truth. Religious history such as that by the time of the Prophet Muhammad s.a.w, are patterned with lives of women and men who help shape religion, religion was not the work by one agent, Muhammad, but rather multiple agents such as Aisyah and the 'Affair of the Necklace', Khadijah, the prophet's first wife played an important role in the conception of Islam, in a conjectural analysis of religion as played out by patriarchal ideas, like the one displayed by Sigmund Freud assumes that women do not play a role at all. We are but passive observers to be passed on from man to man, how does he know this?

What I wish to see in the realm of the trained intelligentsia, instead of feminists bickering with one another, is their powerful deconstruction of all this patriarchal agenda that is oh so apparent and being used as 'normal academia'. Deconstruction was the hallmark of feminism, where is it now? It should pervade not only Women and Gender studies but rather the whole picture of academia.

The Arrivals - A review

As a training sociologist/anthropologist, it is not my job to value religion or philosophy, that is the work of the theologian and the work of the philosopher, most of the time my job is to see how changes in the world (that is constantly changing anyway) affect people. In this instance, the work done by these two guys, noreagaa and achernahr had produced a few series that although on one side is actually highly heavy with conspiracy theory, on the other hand was, thankfully, and fortunately very much in line with what I believe in. I have been talking about these issues for a long long time now, the double standard that is and has always been very apparent in regard to trade relationships, treaties and protocols have been one-sided. In guise they appear to benefit all, but this is not the case, they only benefit those within the system that champion one side of the argument. I have always talked about this, development is not a crime, but a development that is handled in a way where only ONE type of development is allowed is not freedom. The freedom that they talk of is THEIR freedom and not freedom of the rest of the world. The series depicted by noreagaa and achernahr are appealing because they are looking for a way to set the world of chaos in to right, they are opening minds in which scholars will have difficulty in trying to open up and try. They talk of materialism as being the bane of desire,excessive materialism IS the bane of existence, they are the poison in which distorts the reality in which we live in. Scholars and trained intelligentsia have long tried to expose these discrepancies, Sahlins wrote Stone Age Economics, there exists societies outside of globalization. This is the truth, activists have been talking about this and protesting, we do NOT NEED their money, as Zimbabwe has shown. If need be, and the times dire, we can make our own money, set up our own system, systems are not necessary patented, they exist to help society not control or oppress it. What I am proud of the producers is their ability to show that Islam is not the only light, in fact Islam has long been infiltrated (see part 39 on the 12 Imams, watch it first don't judge it yet), whatever that we are practicing today, our blatant disregard for the environment, our abuse of women and the violent images that are being depicted about Muslims in general have to some extent stereotyped us, influenced us, we have become mad by our own hands. We have lost our way, definitely, even writers like Reza Aslan has talked of this, Islam has a multitude of problems, it has become sectarian and we have built as Aslan puts it, 'churches of Islam'. It is not united, it is divided, each one claiming to have a 'better', 'purer' Islam than the other. We concentrate on the small issues, ignoring 'faith' or 'love', 'familyhood', 'unity'. We should not learn to become ethnocentric, we should stand just as the Jews Against Israel, we are a small voice of Islam against terrorism, Islam against Violence. But do they hear us? Do they put us on the media? Do they listen? They do NOT, the rest of us has become ignorant. I am not a fan of conspiracy theories myself, but as a feminist, and to quote the most popular, we are being 'bombarded' by the images in the media of what a WOMAN SHOULD BE, of WHAT MEN SHOULD BE, and WHAT LIFE SHOULD BE. There is no right and wrong, what is right and is wrong is subjective to the culture affected, what the West considers bestial, and inappropriate, is not the same with what the East considers. Overcontrolling parents, overcontrol because they love, anyone can walk out of their situation, if they choose so, if they are old enough, if they could. But some of them do not want to, why? Because they love their family too. Universal rights and laws do not help, they become the gray areas in which many things become so bad for the 'greater good'. One lecturer once said to us, the problems that the world is having is because they think that it is 'for your own good'. It sounds exactly as Bush points it out, 'for your own good'. 'Good' is subjective, they change from time to time and from place to place. It is time we should accept all forms of life, all walks of it, from the deepest jungle, we should be humble with whatever they could teach us. From the highest mountains, where they have secluded themselves from the rest of the world. Manifestations of beauty should not be accepted at face value, question everything you see and hear, question yourself. And as Kent Brockman says in season 18 episode 22, 'Buy Nothing, Hug Your Children and Love the One You're With.'

Everything on TV

Link is here ---> http://uk.news.yahoo.com/18/20090125/ten-art-mogul-saatchi-joins-tv-search-fo-a56114e.html

While its all and great to find talent through television shows but it seems because its a fast paced world everything becomes a quickie. And now art has become a quickie too. I wonder if its all and good...but then again there's always others who could beat it out I suppose and make it. Well gone are the days of Gauguin and their long long periods of living in exotic places for inspiration

The wrong premise for prostitution

While I am all for freedom of sexuality, I have to say that the pros of promoting prostitution begins with awful premises. ---> http://www.sexwork.com/coalition/15reasons.html

1) Sure, but what about sexual gratification OF women? This is a very double standard statement, the author claims that he is not attracted with women his own age and he dislikes overweight women, the problem lies with him as a person. Why should women strive for 'sexual attractivity'? The other problem is that sexual preference varies from culture to culture, from individual to individual. The problem is obvious, he leans on what is construed as within his own society as sexually attractive ignoring the fact that women are human beings too who also need sexual gratification.

2) Why is the bible dragged into this?! HAHAHAHA So you need religious confirmation to justify your actions? Why quote religion? Seriously, there is no need for religious confirmation to justify one's actions unless it is a religion clearly painted by the patriarch.

3) Prostitution does not make the world safer for women. In fact, rapists and incest rapists also visit prostitutes, this does nothing to abate their sexual satisfaction. Sex and rape cannot be equated, they are two different phenomenon manifesting through action. It does not make it healthy for men either, many get STDs, what he doesn't realize is that there is a large number of human trafficking that is going on in this world. Women and children are FORCED into prostitution and many do not do so by their own will.

4) Not necessarily, as a training anthropologist/sociologist, I have never heard of a prostitute actually sexually satisfied with a customer/client.

5) It is a profession that should be respected, but with different premises. A premise that should recognize that they are human beings too and are no different than your wives, daughters, sisters, mothers and friends.

6) Marriage is sometimes an institution which is equal to prostitution, only in the longer run.

7) It could be and it could not be at the same time. They also get abused. What should be is to make laws like the EU where sexworkers do not get criminalized but clients and customers should get criminalized. The demand is ALWAYS there, it does not take a triad leader to quickly realize that. You should look into and also research human trafficking that have cost hundreds and thousands of women and children who are sold into prostitution. Prostitution for the love of feminism is rare.

8) You cannot equate all men into your category. Just because they have not learned to know it elsewhere does not mean that they should continue to behave so. You're misusing sociology and juxtaposing it into a situation that is so abberated that it becomes a fallacy.

9) Refer to point 7

10) Yes it does provide a better alternative to starving and stealing but you're just allowing women and seeing them as sex objects that have no brains to get out there and make it on their own without any connection to servicing men. This just means that there is a serious lack of institutions that provide for the welfare of women that they have to resort to prostitution.

11) Okay, you're right there. But why this obsession with sex?

12) Fun, construed in a very limited way. As if people cannot have fun doing other things?

13) Hmm, good for your mental health not the mental health of the prostitute herself. Imagine being in a situation where the most intimate of their lives is forced to be on display on command, to be paid. How do you feel inside? Maybe prostitutes need to charge extra for therapy.

14) Prostitution does not cure problems, please return to point 7

15) Sex work can be empowering, for FAT women, for THIN women, for OLD women, and yet on point one you say you want slim women between their 20s-30s. What does that say? My dear, you don't want to push that point because that point would be the day where women as old as your mother, your wife, as fat as your family members will become prostitutes.

I would be happy to give you references on human trafficking, on sexual abuse on prostitutes on AIDS, and anything else that provide actual at least stable and reliable data. Not flippant excuses on the internet.

May I interject?

I am sick and tired of the really bad song lists for making love. I don't normally do this but I think a lot of people will be glad to get rid of that wanderlist list.

1) Let's Get It On - Marvin Gaye
2) If I Have My Way - Chrisette Michele
3) My Cherie Amour - Stevie Wonder
4) Selimut Hati - Dewa
5) Seribu Tahun - Imran Ajmain
6) Lost Without You - Robin Thicke
7) Loving You Is Easy (Cos Your Beautiful) - Minnie Riperton
8) The Sweetest Love - Robin Thicke
9) Menghujam Jantungku - Tompi
10) Don't Sleep Away the Night - Glenn Fredly
11) Crazy For You - Adele
12) Luv - Janet Jackson
13) Feel Like Making Love - Roberta Flack
14) Kangen -Chrisye
15) Kasih Tercipta - Faizal Tahir
16) I'm a Slave 4 U - Britney Spears
17) Buttons - PussyCat Dolls
18) I Heard Love is Blind - Amy Winehouse
19) Something About Us - Daft Punk
20) Why I Love You - B2K
21) Turn Your Lights Down Low - Bob Marley feat. Lauryn Hill

I'm not going to list my whole playlist...but these are good enough for a few rounds

The Discourse on the Female Body

---> I'm not sure if you could read Indonesian, if you do well, read on.

There has been some very interesting developments on lesbianism on display especially through the Indonesian film industry. More recently however, a movie done by James Lee a popular children's author equivalent to R.L. Stine, Histeria made it to the top of my list when it showcased (although irrelevant, or relevant to the plot?) a lesbian kiss between two schoolgirls. It could be some perverted fantasy via pornography and pop movies, on the other hand, some 'rebellious' movies such as Berbagi Suami (Sharing Husband), do also display a lesbian relationship between two women who shared a husband. Lesbianism, contrary to the male fantasy via pornography, almost always at least shows what is interesting for men, not women, although in most cases I have been told that lesbian pornography garners more female viewers than male viewers. I have this itching feeling that it could possibly be because it showcases two women who embody the perfection that male sexuality craves (really?). It is youthful, well-breasted, no droopies here (which in reality is actually impossible without a talented plastic surgeon), and 'attractive' with long beautiful hair (wow, it is kind of rare to find a boyish haired porn star unless you count Bella something, I don't remember her name, it has something to do with nightshade?). To find a lesbian relationship, a mutually loving and exclusive lesbian relationship with all the trappings of actual realistic femalehood in pornography is almost impossible. Where then do we find such existence? Only through 'breakthrough' filming which showcases the different.

On the other hand, we have realistic depictions of womanhood but still with the regular dreams of marriage, love, bla3. Now I want to talk about the ever popular My Lovely Sam Soon, a Korean television series. Sam Soon, a woman whose above marriageable age, almost 'expired' (puhlease, how does it get this way?), mannish, funny, not exactly pretty for men, gets the man of her dreams. She got her way allright but she had to go through the rites necessary that labels her as the female body. A body that can be controlled on, a body that belongs to society itself. I'm not saying that the male body is not controlled by society, in probability even more so there exists a rigid existence for manhood (women can wear pants and skirts, men can never wear skirts/or a skort without being labelled as a sissy/fag/queer). In fact, I could suppose that men are repressed beings that exert control over others because they have no control over themselves.

The female body is constantly controlled, not by men, nay! It is continuously controlled by women, or gay men. They set the bar as to what is attractive and what is not. Gay men do have that control over womanhood and this is through their extensive involvement with haute couture.

Sure who ever said evolution was the truth?

So check the above link out. I do agree with her on the evolutionary thing but to address anthropologists as being social-biologists are a whole other thing. I don't remember any anthropologist in living history who has not distanced themselves from ranging human behaviour with that of the animal kingdom...in fact its ludicrous! Its the first rule of sociology/anthropology that nurture is stronger than nature, that's why its called anthropology/sociology in the first place. Because there's no such thing as nature, natural does not exist, culture is a man made phenomenon, there is nothing natural about man (which craps the hell out of philosophers who have to start somewhere), who knows what divinity is, there were a couple of social anthropologists who said such and such in and about during the Pacific War and they were influenced by American policy makers and theorists by the way, and they were in China, I doubt that their work could reach America. And I'm kinda sick and tired of people who are actually paleoanthropologists or biological anthropologists getting mixed up with social biologists, its just like saying I'm a Muslim therefore I am a 'T' (sooo can't say it, its sooo NOT P.C.).

Other than that, there are no explanations as to why humanity behaves the way they do, that is what anthropology is trying to show (in all probability her definition of an anthropologist could be so american that I don't get it) with its myriad of cultures, when someone says something, there is always always some society out there which can show otherwise. In fact I have a new theoretical line I'm thinking about and I hope people can look in to it and wonder with me.

Culturally and financially, females are usually at a lower position and rank than males, that is the first point, on a second note, financial power rests on the hand of the patriarch. The question or situation that I would like to posit is this, often, when a husband who has more financial stability than the wife would leave the wife with the money (commodity/land/etc.) and remarry with another woman whereby in turn she would make sure that the commodity be passed on her own offspring (which could be either male or female, most likely male). Isn't it more likely (because dumbass males have a way of explaining everything without the approval of females hehehe) that power among women rests between women themselves? The more nubile females versus the 'less' attractive females. God. Now I remember that discovery episode on attraction saying that older females are not sexually attractive because biologically they are reaching menopause. IN all probability this is because certain societies have shown too much television programs or the earlier bias and prejudice that tilt towards younger women. Stories, popular legends, and the definition of beauty itself varies from place to place. I give up, the answer is soo frickin obvious.

Praise Rabbi Yisroel Weiss

In a world where Jews like Muslims also face extreme pressure of anti-semitism, I am amazed at how much this community is able to face the shame and embarassment that has been lauded upon them. Even I myself shun and disassociate myself with Islamic orthodoxy, I am too, a product of continuous repression of my identity even though I do not support terrorism, I believe in an Islam which is between myself and God, I fight for equality and feminism and yet I, being born a Muslim is blamed for all the wrongdoings of others.

Gaza

I know that I have said to my friends that I was too heartsick to be bothered with what is going on in the Gaza strip. It has been so long that these two sides, the Jews and the Arabs and the Christians screwing each other. And us as an outsider viewing what is going on inside as if we understand. I have had numerous e-mails spewing Anti-Semitic messages, without realizing that Jewish children are also getting killed. This is not about religion, this is about politics, about another polity making itself extremely felt on another polity. No doubt that both these sides have felt enmity towards each other for hundreds of years, but this does not mean that they have never lived side by side. The scale in which we are seeing right now are extremely severe, toxic weapons are being thrown to civilian homes, children maimed and burned, crushed under the rubble of stupidity in part of the Americans and the Israelis. For what? For who? Muslims must begin to understand especially Islamic fundamentalists that what is going on is not a protest against the Muslim religion, far from it. Those who are suffering are ALL, and not just the Muslims, Muslims MUST begin to realize and UNDERSTAND, to be inside other people's shoes, to unlearn our religio-centric tendencies. We as humans cannot at this time start to look at one another on the basis of what we believe in, not on the basis of our colour, creed or gender, this is a time where we should serve the most basic of our existence, that of peace, NOT chaos. I have, for a while been very sad and upset with the way things were going within Islamic fundamentalism and the issues that they like to deal with, but this is a time where Islam must show its banner as PEACE and not WAR. We cannot fight fire with fire, it is foolish, it has been said over and over again (and why the hell do people not listen?) stop and extinguish the fire. The solution could be simple, the solution could be easy, but it seems that the harder more painful path is much more comforting when we wallow in our own sadness. Right now is not the time for individualism, it is a time for community work and community peace efforts. For America, as always as has many critics have said, what they are allowing would only exacerbate the condition. Why are you allowing human beings to be extinguished just like that? For a country that speaks of peace, of freedom and human liberty, it is allowing oppression, pain, suffering and slavery in others. It seems as if at this point, the 'freedom' and 'wealth' that some Americans are experiencing is at the expense of the pain and suffering of others. There should be more transparency, people should be given all the information they have at their expense and not just one side of the conversation. I think it is appropriate that I should say as the first word of the Quran, 'Iqra', Read. Speak. Our voices should be loud enough so that everyone could hear.

The Shuffler Game

Note: I suspect the reason why some of the songs could match the questions and reflect who you are because, duh, it is your playlist.

Anyway, I know I'm always serious so for my friends who read my blog and get bored to moffing tears, I'm playing the Shuffler Game as evidenced by Ayop and Kartina's blog:-

You put your playlist songs on shuffle on winamp, windows media player bla3 and write down the answers no matter how funny.

1) Are you male or female?

I Know Where I've Been - Queen Latifah (I don't get that, sounds like I've been around :P)

2) Describe Yourself!

Across the Universe - Fiona Apple (what like just because I like anthropology and sociology so now I traverse the universe lah ah?)

3)What do people feel when they're around you?

Lollipop - Mika (I hope they're not asking me to do it...)

4) Describe your current relationship.

Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger - Daft Punk (Woohoo!!!)

5)Where would you like to be right now?

I Heard Love is Blind - Amy Winehouse (eh?)

6) How Do You Feel About Love?

Keda enyei einak - Amr Diab (apparently it means 'Just Like This, Eye to Eye, I guess equal I suppose?)

7) What's Your Life Like?

Sweet Love - Anita Baker (Wow, I must be lucky)

8) What would you ask for if you had one wish?

I Need You - Lee Ann Rimes (Aduh, wtf? why does this sound like Kartina's list???)

9) Say Something Wise:

Hotel California - NOFX (Wow, how wise am I?)

10) If Someone Says' Is this okay? you say...?)

Akhir Cerita Cinta - Flenn Fredly (Abis! Jiwang! Awut)

11) How would you desrcibe yourself?

Cinta Mati - Ahmad Dhani feat. Agnes Monica (KAR!!! THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG HERE!!!)

12) What do you like in a guy/girl?

So Simple - Stacie Orrico (very appropriate)

13) How Do You feel Today?

Come Rain or Come Shine - Billie Holiday (Nice.)

14) What is Your Life Purpose?

I'd Rather Dance With You - Kings of Convenience (I don't know why but this list makes me sound like I'm a Romantic or something...)

15)What is your motto?

Fantasy (remix) - Mariah Carey (woohoo! I sound like a bimbo)

16) What do your friends think of you?

I Say a Little Prayer for You - Dionne Warwick (Aww, I love you guys too)

17) What do you think of your parents?

Love Is No Big Truth - Kings of Convenience (wow, that's perfect timing)

18) What Do You think About very often?

Seribu Tahun - Imran Ajmain (mataiii tayaaa jiwang!!!)

19) What is 2+2?

Love is a Losing Game - Amy Winehouse (??)

20) What do you think of your bestfriend(s)?

The Sweetest Love - Robin Thicke (;))

21) What do you think of the person you like?

D.A.N.C.E - Justice (jadinya Kakana mau ia menari?)

22) What is your life story?

Loving You Is Easy (cos your beautiful) - Minnie Riperton (I knew it)

23) What do you want to be when you grow up?

King Without a Crown - Matisyahu (Jesus!)

24) What do you think of when you see the person you like?

Rasa Cinta - Bunglon (aduh mas, bener dong)

25) What will you dance to at your wedding?

Larut - Dewa (banar kali...jiwang kali aku ani)

26) What will they play at your funeral?

Everlong (Acoustic) - Foo Fighters (That's very appropriate)

27) What is your hobby/interest?

Feedback - Janet Jackson (Banar! HAHAHAHAH)

28) What is your biggest fear?

Ironic - Alanis Morisette (wow, isn't that ironic?)

29) What is your biggest fear?

Kissing a Fool - Michael Buble (See, I said it, semuanya ngam2)