This one's an old one, I should say it too - Haruki Murakami's After Dark

Not as good as his other works, there I said it.

I just remembered what I wanted to say - review of Orhan Pamuk's My name is Red

While my labours are not entirely fruitless I managed to get around to finishing this book, despite its label, Nobel Prize Winner, you could have lied to me! Okay, you want my honest opinion? This book, sucks, not entirely but somewhat about half the book is bad while the other half is not that bad. Probably, the cause is the LOST in Translation part, it was tedious and long with winding stories that none other reminded me of the translation of the One Thousand and One Nights, stories within stories, the problem was...it did not fascinate me. It had a tendency to repeat itself without any magic accompanying it. Answer me this, why is it that Pramoedya Ananta Toer is a Nobel Prize laureate but this guy wins the whole thing? Let me describe and ruin it for you, the image that was depicted of women for example, in the case of Shekure is too...fantastic. Although the erotica was good but I could say better of Haruki Murakami's works (more after this I'm going to review one of them as well). I disliked Shekure, for every reason in the book that Mary Daly and Shulamith Firestone could think of. For one thing, she's a dreamer, okay that doesn't sound so bad, no, she's a dreamer who wants to be gilded like a princess because of her looks. That is a character I find repulsive. If Pamuk could crack a pretty woman's head and show me what's in it, none of them bear any of the sensitivities that Pamuk displays, they are imaginary depictions of what women are. This is one of the more disconcerting things that I find about the Nobel Prize, they portray what the masses think and what it ought to be. The only people I like amongst that list is Pearl S. Buck, Wole Soyinka and Toni Morisson. The year they decided to nominate Orhan Pamuk was a bad year I think! Sure, at least he tries to connect the West and the East, but the writing...is fit for I don't know, a book called Tokaido that I read a few years back. It wasn't engaging, it didn't rack my soul like Ben Okri, it didn't leave me dazzled like Naguib Mahfouz and it didn't make me laugh like V.S. Naipaul. The characters were shallow, I cannot see inside them, why is that? They show me themselves but not inside their hearts, is that what it's supposed to be, another style of writing? I suppose the only person who could write whodunit novels is and always will be Agatha Christie, any takers on that one? I disliked Black, the only character I found engaging was oddly enough Shekure's dead father, Enishte Effendi. Spare me the book, just chuck it in the bin.

I've got two questions

I've got two simple questions, and shit I forgot about what the fuck I was gonna say.

Abortion/Love/Disabilities

I have three children and all three of these kids, for myself, I don't care. I've always loved children and I always will but when I had my first child I was eighteen, I thought and I thought. I was already engaged, I finished my diploma, I was somewhat responsible. But was my parents ready for a child? I asked and I wondered, should I get an abortion? It seemed easy back then, you have never met the person that you were going to carry, they were only seeds of flesh. But I didn't go through with it, then after my second child, six months after Ezra I was pregnant again. I thought, what the hell? I can't go through with this again, what will people say? And, is it safe? After being so close to another caesarean? So I asked around, Edward too was being considered for the drop. But it was okay, they were all extremely healthy children, they inherited some of my allergies, actually both my husband and I, thankfully very mild rashes and fever asthma. Considering I smoked when I was pregnant too, they were all above three kilograms with regular sized brains, perfect lungs perfect heart, hey I don't know how I did it but I did it! It happens in my family, people do smoke when they're pregnant, not too much just once in awhile. But we're all healthy and happy, and then I thouht some people who try so hard with their pregnancies and they have to deal with more, so I feel sorry. Now this is where I'm going to hit the right note, if a woman, has a higher chance of having a child with a disability, will she abort it? Even for small things like a cleft palate or a webbed foot? Or something more difficult like Down's syndrome? I've read about Down's syndrome, there are many who become successful, many who can live alone, have a job, get married and have kids. Focus, and learn (honestly, there are people on this earth with no disability whatsoever but they are far more dependent and sorry to say idiotic than a person with down's syndrome or autism). So what's the problem? Why are many more women aborting imperfections? Sometimes, a human being's worth on this earth is a lot more than you think, who knows they might save someone's life one day, they might be useful to a community. They might not, but you can take the same gamble on a normal kid who might end up as a serial killer/rapist/pedophile/politician. I'm not sure about abortions, for myself it's a case by case thing. it's not something for everyone, so I'm not advocating nor am I rejecting it. There are cases of incest rape, and maybe the person just doesn't want their child to be hurt. There are limits and unfortunately limits differ from person to person. But if you're pregnant and your child might have a disability, aren't the odds when you add up teenagehood, tween, college drunkfest or whatever is nasty, just the same?

What's wrong with people living on trees in Brunei?

I know the allegation, people think Borneans and Bruneians are a bunch of savages living on trees, meaning that we aren't even up on the evolutionary scale, not even Homo Sapien, unlike them Homo Sapien Sapien, not even close to Homo Habilis. Cos, we live on trees. But doing a lot of readings on Borneo, I realized that all this time Bruneians have a problem in the way they treat other races except themselves. Of course the given will always be true, those in power, those with wealth that can be translated to power, will always necessarily be able to wield enough to maintain that their positions will be higher than that of others. But the question is this, what's wrong with Borneans and Bruneians living on trees? I know they're a group on facebook, defying that Bruneians don't live on trees, but what is so wrong with that? What is so wrong being different? Why is everyone running after prestige so badly that they need to have a fricking mansion/flatscreen tv/study in UK/US/Oz/drive an expensive car. Last night I was talking to this lady I was hennaing and she was from Singapore, she said she felt a little bit relaxed because people were not so driven by materialistic culture, but...really? Bruneians are a bit materialistic, not to the extent of Singaporeans but we're getting there. Not just that they're prestige crazy. Everything is just as fake everywhere around the world. The views of Borneans and Bruneians living on trees only reflect the perspective of Orientalism. Where's the Occidentalism? As one white guy once pointed out to me (albeit he's a fricking idiot), it's been 50 years since independence, why do they all sound like they want to kiss the Western perspective?

Sex and disability

I just realized something very2 strong. All this time I only thought about myself being oveweight and all and having challenges concerning sexuality. Well there I'm completely wrong and something is fucking wrong with the world we live in today. Have we ever realized that sex and body types should not be one-sided? Why is there only one representation of sexuality minus the rest? Sex is white, barbie doll and massive cocked Ken, it's not Asian male, or Black women, sure these two do exist but they are not the central pornographic mainstream. And not just that, where is the disabled sex? Why are there no sex involving people on a wheelchair? People who are blind? Why does tv show only sex and love of two 'normal' (trust me everyone is so not normal) man and woman? And the gay men and women, fucking hell, they all look good, where is the reality in that? Not all gay men are good looking and not all gay women are good looking and good looking is questionable. I think I have come to feel quite surprised at the way society embodies humanity, they are either the tools of capitalism or the mass media but those are just simple explanations that skim the true surface. Humanity makes humanity, society perpetuates society, one girl once told me its not that she doesnt want to date this guy who she thinks was unattractive, it was because she wanted to wake up next to someone who wouldnt freak her out, well you cant teach an old dog new tricks, that's true, and therefore she can leave it at that, but what about teaching our next generation to be more realistic and open and humane about their sexuality? How about teaching people the fact that one way or another a so called 'good looking guy' can wake up next to you and scare the shit out of you, they can be disabled, they can be disfigured badly, is that the worth of your love? Then it must be shallow.

Girls Beware!

Interesting sexist and prejudiced videos from America in the 50s.
Enjoy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fAKo-i4jpQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGqT_Z50w5c&feature=related

My exams are over but my thesis is not and atheists versus fanatics

So, I panicked a few weeks ago when I found out I had an F once because I decided to drop logic and thinking (why do you need to prove arguments using maths again?), and my lecturer told me that it could affect my honours. Hah! It doesn't thank God. Why does it matter? You know, like in the words of that guy Robert T. Kiyosaki, your accountant won't look at your school grades, bla3, but I think it takes a certain amount of gumption, tirelessness and hardwork to make a good business work.
Aside from that, I want to talk about my thesis, this will be my first time conducting fieldwork among the Kedayans of Bukit Panggal. Scared? Shit hell I am. I never realized to be the bottom of things and collecting all this data would hurt. Your effing nervous, you meet new people and you need to turn on your charms. This is what I realized, if all of those people who are gathering all this data that I have been using for my research all this time and to supplement my arguments in this blog and I think, well, that is difficult, and how do you do that? I've been reading and re-reading about the Penan till my eyes hurt (its just a part of my essay work), and honestly, if I was to live in the frickin jungle interior for a year or two I'd go mad, or maybe not if there was a hot guy involved (trust me, when it comes to the basic drive, anything will work, and I will work harder mind you, I got straight As when I was a kid because I liked this guy in my class so I went to school often). So that jumps me down to Malinowski and his psychological functionalism, I cannot help but think that he is smarter than Radcliffe-Brown, his contemporary and rival. Why? As much as it hurts to admit this, everyone is fricking selfish, everyone will sacrifice their needs only if that sacrifice will bring some sort of benefit in the end. People are good because they believe there's a heaven, they know they will be rewarded, if people didn't believe in heaven, and I hope some atheist could supplant me with this because I need to know some data, would anyone bother to be kind? And I'm not even talking about the run of the mill atheist with good morals, because that shows that they believe in 'something' be that it may metaphysical or abstract. I'm talking about hard core atheists who believe in nothing, not even one fucking iota, but I suppose and ironically also, :) corresponds directly to extreme religious fanatics, doesn't it? I'm showing you my thought process, people are not kind because they believe in something, people are not kind because they don't believe in anything (most often these people are just mean to themselves if I'm not mistaken...) . Well go figure, we're back on square one. The point being, society is made up of individuals who want to reach their goals, or desires, I'm not even going to say basic needs, but I do suppose that the dance of sex and life is as old as time itself. Something, the woman who is badly treated by her partner wants something in the end, Revenge? I'm trying to prove my hypothesis here...there must be something she wants and this cannot be said to be a basic desire. I mean I know some dumb frick psychologists of the ancient whatnots have claimed women to be masochistic and sadistic. Survival? Wtf? Society and its trappings? The truth is also, I have to add another dimension here, an abused woman won't be able to think outside of the box as to why she's not leaving an abusive partner, she just allows it to happen. Hmm, interesting, I'll get back to you people when I have the answer. Oh btw, one guy once told me, there's no answer to anything, that everything is just IS, well that is one dumb motherfucker I can tell you that. And please3, read Reza Aslan's No God But God, it's pretty good aside from all the dumb Islamic publications that I have read that are too sexist, too racist, too prejudiced.

The world is a-changing and I'm right in the middle of it

Hell, gone were the days when the words hell and damn were considered rude (lol) but that doesn't mean gone are the days when people are fighting so hard and trying so damn much to put it right back to its place. Right now I'm sitting in a country where its neighbours issued a fatwa to ban against yoga (hahahahaha how intelligent can you be? Issuing a fatwa like that when there are about 2 billion Moslems who are frickin broke and need your help? Wow great blinder there!) As is with most political systems it is obvious that the whole course behind such said actions are ofcourse Malaysia's fear for UMNOs potency. UMNO has lost its potency and it needs Viagra (read PAS and the fatwa issuers) to maintain ahigh rate of votes. Just as Obama and McCain fought in the swing territories over the most orthodox Christians of the South the Malaysians are doing the same tactic as Bush, win em over with religion. Having to depend on a large vote from Sabah and Sarawak to win the recent elections it doesn't come to much surprise that it needs to boost sales in the Malay Muslim department. Tomboys? Cut hair and pants? I'm a mother of three, I'm 23 years old and I married early (I'm such a frickin slut but who doesn't love fucking?) I have never had long hair, why? It makes me look fat besides my husband liked me because of my short hair. I like to wear pants, but sometimes I like to wear skirts, I like lesbian porn, does that count? But in reality I turn my head around if there's a guy I think is hot I don't turn around if there's a hot woman I'd probably have a tendency to stab her face over envy. therefore, the argument does not hold. Besides, haven't all of us Muslims ever learned from history at all? Fatwas change and they change over time, over different spaces and over different regions, to fit any political agenda that they needed to justify. The Muftis know this more than anyone else (if not why send them to Al-Azhar?) They're committed to know this fact and they come back to shove it with power. What comes with the fatwa? Money. Prestige. And all that jazz. They don't do it for God (hahahahahahaha!) they don't do it for women. They do it for themselves to enlarge the pool of sexual must-haves, and money and political prestige and blablabla. Its as simple as that, people never ask why such and such is being said. But problems occur and people would want to know why, such said Muslims for example never ask why such and such women prefer women than men look at the demographics a high percentage of divorce, a low percentage of rights, yadda yadda yadda. Who in their right mind would want a position within the social structure so subservient? Interpretations have been challenged, women have education (one of the reasons why the Taliban won't allow women to go to school, I suppose if they're right then Muhammad the prophet must be lying about everyone should get an education) and with education comes power. And that is what is feared by the said Islamic sections (not all mind you), they go about and declare everyone irreligious and apostate as they like as if they alone own religion as if they alone control the voice of God, and they alone can interpret the words of the Lord. Doesn't this sound familiar? It has passed for the Christians, only the priests had had access to the Lord, to forgive to live, to be religious. And the reason why they hated Muslims was because Islam cut out the middleman so that every person could reach God (protestants did the same thing) and over time the strength of the Islamic church grows stronger and stronger. What we need is some sort of Protestant Islam, we need to cut out the middle man, but it would take too much time, too much bloodshed. And I wonder why, why is this all necessary, to fight for ones faith over God? Shouldn't God be a private matter? After all doesn't one die alone? My answer is yes, you do - die alone.

McCain vs. Obama - again 'why the fuck does McCain scare me'

Here ---> http://www.alternet.org/election08/103387/the_10_biggest_differences_between_obama_and_mccain_that_will_affect_your_daily_life/?page=1

I don't and won't understand at all if the Americans do decide to vote for McCain and label Obama with very flimsy excuses such as 'Muslim' (what's wrong with that I thought America was a liberal country :P), Black (woohoo, often on forums I see, 'I'm not being racist or anything but he's a liar) a liar of what exactly? And McCain is an honest person? HAHAHAHHAHA He sounds like the candidate from Hell, I've said it once and I'll say it again, if McCain becomes America's next president (I don't think this is impossible, oddly the Thais can outseat their Prime Minister with a bloodless coup but Americans don't do that do they? So smart rite? In addition, Bush did it come on it'll happen again!). I'm being pessimistic and sad about this actually I could cry because true enough if McCain is president its the end of America as anyone knows it.

Out with the old in with the new

Reading around reading around and I felt a snagging push towards being extremely angry at something, I don't remember what that something was but it definitely had something to do with my idiot husband (I know, I know you think I'm an idiot too, jeez). Oh yes, he said that feminists want to control everything. (HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA this coming from the sex that's full of crap and controls almost all of the world and has done nothing but evil) I think what he meant was, stop criticizing my sex, we know we're stupid. I'm glad.

The Does and Don'ts between pornography and feminism

I spent a hours reading articles from this feministlawprofs.law.sc.edu, this www.avclub.com, and a blog called feministing.
You guys should check it out I read it from end to end.
Now aside from all this I was reading on the dancing dance (hahaha) between feminism and pornography, as is the fact feminists are so divided about this, one article (just google feminism and pornography and one with the author being wendy mcelroy) I deemed really interesting. Pornography has always been the issue that it objectifies women as being sexual objects (McElroy argues that this is subjective, why not? she asks, good question) and I thought about it, patriarchy always deemed women as being lower, yes, and on the other hand they demand that the women that they 'own' should be demure and ofcourse according to Hindu law the concern is largely to protect caste purity and therefore cross caste marriage (note: marriage not extramarital r'ships haa) is frowned upon between a man of higher caste and a woman of lower caste and one hundred percent unforgivable for a woman of higher caste and a man of lower caste (cf. Andre Beteille). And from my own experience with men they all say this : (this is quite common for Muslim men but I think the virus is bigger than that ;) - thus applies to a LOT of men) there are two types of women - women you fuck and women you marry. The ones that are married are kept sacred and pure (to avoid him from having to care for another man's child as well as to keep property strictly within his own family sphere, this is a good example to link patriarchy and capitalism btw). Now, if ALL women were to deign pornography as acceptable and participate in it, I wonder whether this is sexually liberating or not? In my head I thought that if this was possible then the cards would all be on women's tables. No longer are there women available for so-called purity and subservience, because definitely the women that men can fuck, are always deemed to be OUT OF THEIR CONTROL and therefore out of their jurisdiction, no longer will they be docile animals under the care of the all heavenly father/husband/brother/boyfriend/lover/friend. Note the irony of the argument above, the one that says to avoid him and to keep property within his own sphere, doesn't the idiot realize that his pumping activities may well spread a gallon more of his so-called seeds to twenty different women each producing more children there would be more distribution of his so-called property, I don't understand why they're so frigging stupid, sons loyalties are towards their mothers and the families of their mothers, up to a point they will comply with their patrilineage but sooner or later after the death of the fathers allegiances change (cf. The Lugbara of Uganda). :)

The trick is in the eyes

The ugly ones are REAL women and the beautiful ones are the LADYBOYS

I was scourging for bodyshapers, don't ask me why I thought it might help me with my thrice operated mommy tummy. I felt sorry for myself I thought but what we women don't realize is the fact that there are billions of women surrounding us who are just like us, who have the same problems no matter how fat or how thin they are, they will never ever become as beautiful as Thailand's ladyboys. I think at that point you could understand how powerful it is to become a lesbian woman, but sadly this is not the case for non-politically correct NY, USA depictions of lesbian harmony. You still have to contend with the fact about butch women + femme = regular heterosexual couple (for this we have to refer to even Asian levels of social roles and its expectations etc etc.), what women do NEED is a great sense of humour. I have heard all the stories of men being extremely prejudiced and sexist against women, they're stories that are like staple food for women. Sure sure Ive had people telling me I shouldn't focus much on labels, labels mean nothing and I'm sure they're right because I believe so too sometimes, it could be our conditioning of reality that we perceive the way we want to perceive it (or the things that they taught us to want). what's sad was the fact that women feel so alone, so unwanted while men? I don't know some people say they should be pitied more because they are socially conditioned to believe that they do not need support? Not feel wanted? What pushes us women to WANT to be wanted and loved anyway in the first place? Look, my point is men look better than women when they're women they look better than women, I vote for us women to make our own country and tell the fuckers to fuck off ( :) ) and if they want to fuck fuck each other, that's what men are made for ;)

The consequences of the lower position of women in Islam

Here is a question and I have been stressing this repeatedly for a long time now. In orthodox Islam, the position of a woman is considered less valuable than that of a man, religiously and economically. What happens then when Muslims lower the bar on their women that women become a little more better than animals? (as quoted by Imam Al-Ghazali).

I've been ruminating it for awhile and I realized that Islam is pretty difficult to conjoin with different modes of society to function economically and socially. For example, in orthodox Islam women are not even allowed to go out of their homes without the permission of their husbands or to work for it is Makruh ( Not encouraged for Mazhab Syafiee, but I have heard that it becomes Haram (or forbidden) for certain Mazhabs, I need to research more on this). Now what happens when this happens in an agrarian society. As many of you are aware, at the moment there IS a food shortage and ofcourse in addition a labour shortage that can be supplemented by women's work in the fields, now how do you amalgamate these two beliefs? Secondly, the fact that Islam is an urban based religion hinders any society that lives in the jungle like the Orang Asli (or natives). Previously, it is thought that living in urban centres was better than living in rural or forested areas for Muslims but what many Muslims ignore is the protection of the ecosystem and there has been some recent studies made that the natives or the Orang Asli, CONSERVES the ecosystem through their way of life, therefore if all of humanity actually refuses to live in the jungle all knowledge of ecosystems will be LOST. As you all know, the Orang Asli cannot live in the jungles wearing habits or headscarves, they aren't able to wear thick clothes to cover all parts of their body, if they do so, they might die and become dehumidifed, there has been some reconciliations on the part in Islam whereby it is stated that man is free from the call to prayers (religion?) when they are not within the compounds of society.

The lowly economic position of women coupled with orthodoxy that disables them from fully functioning as people has its deep embedded consequences much as many people refuse to acknowledge. Women's work has become limited and poverty is lauded only towards women and women's work. Say as I have cited above in modern contemporary times, a woman is not allowed to work. Say she has three children and her husband has left her for another woman, she is divorced and not paid alimony or child custody (therefore in the part of the husband he is sinning but rarely is this punished, it is only the women who are punished, often by women themselves) how will she survive and keep her religious orthodoxy intact?

The next problem is the value of women, now she is stripped of ANY economic benefits, now this becomes similar to a Hindu problem. She is economically dependent and becomes a burden especially in terms of dowry (which at least as property bought and paid for by the husband she retains a small amount of economic standing), this burden usually results in undercare for female children, leaving female kids a lesser amount to eat (cf; Girl Child in India). And thus, for developing third world countries which view women as lower in economic status it becomes like India and China, female foetuses are aborted. Although this has not been the case in the Middle East, but it has been in Pakistan and to a lesser degree Afghanistan (often the foetuses are buried alive).

(To a larger extent, China and India exhibit a higher degree of male preference within their religion and social construct that female children are worst off treated, and both these societies strictly forbid the betterment of social status for women, it doesn't exist only within Islamic orthodoxy.)

when i see you

WHEN I see you
My blood rushes from my heart to my loins
that THUMP THUMP makes me feel like i'm in Love
I want it to burn me and my loins
forever me forever you forever love

WHEN I see you
You! grab me between my legs
It drips drips drips crying and crying
Every woman wants You and begs
can't you see me babe? it feels like im dying

when I see YOU
Oh my heart between my breasts
it sighs and wanes and rises
it seems there is no rest or for the best
truth is the others end up as lices

YOU don't see me
I've been hatching spells on YOU
Maybe one day I'm not sure
I hope you'll like me so...
I'll see you around

The race for the next P.U.S.A (President of USA)

I was reading Times and Newsweek, littered this June for the upcoming race between Sen. John McCain and Sen. Barrack Obama. Once (McCain) seemed like the presidential candidate from H.E.L.L. The thing about politics is that he makes it sound so nice, so innocent so gullible that many people actually overlook his 'evil'. One of the writers mentioned something about why Iran themselves would wish someone like McCain to be the next PUSA, he seems evil, he sounds evil, hell, he even looks evil (think Nixon, Bush, Reagan, Clinton - don't they seem evil to you? You can say the same thing about Lenin, Stalin and Hitler too! Republicans on the general though do have the tendency to look evil... like Skeletor) Why? Well then the Iranians could go on bombing themselves out of frustrations, look! points the mullahs (who also look evil btw) evil PUSA! bomb yourselves! If Barrack wins, a PUSA who listens, understands, no drama here, quietly sit on the table negotiate, talk, resolve problems (although I also read that Barrack won't negotiate but nevertheless, he has the image of negotiable), the Iranians could start looking at themselves and realize the deep shit that they are in, so does Afghanistan, Iraq and Palestine who are all on the same boat (problems problems, drama drama). I notice one thing that was a common thread for the USA and these areas in the middle east (drop in Lebanon and Syria in there too!), the constant need for drama. I mean look at the youtube presidential race ads, they sound like the BurgerKing versus McDonalds ads - DRAMA! I knwo something about drama, my family itself is riddled with the constant need for drama, I am left bewildered and thinking- probably realizing. Do these people actually believe what they are saying when they say all those horrible things that they believe in? Why do they constantly have an addiction towards ethnocentrism and whats the other phrase? Holier than Thou attitude.
High horse, higher horse.
I'll tell you something about the Muslim attitude, from an ethnographic perspective, there is a division of understanding between the middle class attitude (take this in I said middle class attitude and education - middle class is aplenty in Brunei but this doesn't necessarily coincide with better education - ref. Americanos) and that of the regular attitude. Just as the American politicians scare the Born Again Christian Americans the equal amount can be seen, not through regular Islamic state controlled education but rather the vernacular common belief people say. Take the late Saddam Hussein, sure he was a Muslim, but he gassed Kurds, killed Sunnis aplenty and altogether not a nice guy, but because of the label, 'Muslim' other Muslims think of him as some sort of a 'hero' for standing up to the big man of PUSA (on the contrary, SH has received support from PUSA before George Bush Sr. got pissed at him for using his arms elsewhere rather than exclusively gassing Kurds and Sunnis (hahaha this is so funny!) The same can be said about the rest of the so-called Muslim leaders who always always automatically label you as 'murtad' or excommunicated for realizing 'hey, this doesn't sound islamic-ish...why ah?'. Their role as religious leaders + secular politicians = complete control of power because they control the realm of the spiritual guidance as well as the realm outside of religion. E-mails are sent left and right thinking that this is the right thing to do, the right thing to say (photos of Palestinians who are maimed and murdered - mind you, Palestinians are Muslims, Christian AND Jews, the same goes for the Israelis, this is not a religious struggle as many Muslims would say but rather a political struggle, who gets the most gets the more power). Sure, the Palestinians need to be protected but they also need the equal awareness that this is a political struggle, not a religious one. Leave religion out of this, isn't it enough that you have it spiritually? Must you maim murder others for religion even children? There you go the Holier than Thou attitude, thinking already they have one foot in Paradiso.

Drama drama. Could it possibly be because there's too many dramas on TV that people are acting as the dramas themselves? It's like stereotyping from hell, the crazy PUSA, the mullah driven only for his own interests, the less educated mindset following like robots?

Aside from that and personally, I would like Sen. Barrack Obama to win, why? Because he will be the most good looking PUSA America has ever had.

Capitalism, you break my heart

As is with the hundreds of activists and environmentalists who have called upon repeatedly with the questions we have raised then come along also with it the other hand that pulls it. I will repeat a question that comes again and again and repeatedly unquestioned. Or probably I am not looking for an answer but rather a statement. Why? Why is free trade ok for higher levels of capitalism and NOT ok for the lower ones? I suppose it becomes necessary for companies such as Glaxo-SmithKline, to name a few, the BodyShop, L'Oreal and the rest with their army of legal jargonists and definitely not for the other arm of small-time business men and women trying to scrape a living. Take piracy for example, sure of course small time piracy have caused problems, who does not know the consequences of untraceable companies who produce fake baby formula that have killed babies, cosmetics that contain mercury such as in places like Africa and China but we do not see the other side of it. There are lawsuits against companies such as PhillipMorris (tobacco) and McDonalds that have made it through, and yet both these companies are soaring higher than ever. Many upper end brands, trusted have also failed to comply to set standards and not only that they have provided also, times when they have made mistakes. Brands that you trust too much? Ofcourse. I am sitting here using a Hewlett-Packard PC with their largest screen and sipping British/Malaysian Ribena for my so-called cold. Cases have arisen and there is a scramble for patents and products just as there has been a scramble for colonial lands not to long ago. The difference is no everyone can have it, the other end is majority of those who benefit are still WHITE. I'm not a racist, I am stating a pure fact, despite the freedom and 'goodness' of capitalism pockets of poverty excepting Eastern Europe exist in as Bush has called 'the African nation' (hahaha!)
Then there's the question of internet piracy. Why hasn't upper end movie companies EVER made the leap into allowing the SALE of their movies through TORRENTS for a few dollars or cents? Why haven't they sold their DVDS for less like many of the piraters are apt to do? It's simple and it's easy, they want to get rich QUICK. Here's a newsflash, you compete with the piraters instead of spending billions of dollars catching them with the arm of the law, using the law for your own benefit and ruining a host of people's lives? Sure, we're poor its easy for you to throw us into jail while you sit in your lovely home like The Sims2, make it as posh as you can. Then you waste taxpayers money for jailing them use them for bonded labour and like cotton slaves, you have new LEGAL cotton slaves. You with your billions of starbucks that you can find in each radius with your delicious coffee that costs an arm and a leg while your workers work for only less than a thousand dollars a month. Enjoy, I pray and pray that your death will be long and painful. Probably that's why I still believe in God, hoping even Nietszche couldn't blame me for that, that to remain sane I need to know that justice can be served, not only for rich people.

The Atheist

I have not logged for a long time, since April and I want to make up for it. A little bit anyway. I was thinking and thinking and sometimes I notice that it became necessary to speak in terms of another language but this as I have said I talked about in deconstructing semanticity. At certain points of my life I start to think about things and I do realize that we as humans are constantly in control by governments surrounding us. We are in absolute terms of thought despite individual share of means in our heads and in our hearts. When we propose to believe in something else we are accused of atheism of straying the wrong path. For what? For why? I think often that there are reasons behind certain actions and I tell you this. Always, always examine their purposes and what they gain. There must be something that they will gain by, they say they believe in God but is this true? What is it that they're after? And why are they controlling people's lives? From the moment of our birth to the day we die, they want something from you, and I will tell you what. First of all, they want power, it is a very basic and base thing to desire. Then it is about money and wealth, things that could buy you power, it can be translated and it can be useful not only for those holding that wealth but others who surround it. And thirdly, the most simple is ofcourse, desire. Desire for all of these things. I'm still thinking about that meaning of desire and why. Simpler explanations exude cultural and social factors are the cause. But I think I must go deeper than that. Laters then.

Globalization Costs/ Consumer Culture

Dear everyone,

As you must know food prices are rising very high. I would like to point out that activism has done its fair share of protecting the environment but at the cost of how it's going it has at the same time ruined those whom it intended to protect, namely poor people. The greener environment is always an issue that most Muslims shrug and push away, they intend that because they believe the end of the world is near that there need not be anymore responsibilities on their behalf concerning the environment. Remember, Muhammad s.a.w once said that even if Qiamat was drawing near and a seed of life is in your hands, plant it. We have an obligation towards God and the earth, God has mentioned in the Koran that he has made earth in all its splendour, do not think you can destroy it freely. We are among the luckier ones and have lived on this part of a planet called Brunei with only less than 300,000 people with a large part being foreigners who work here. We are blessed and yet we are the worst inhabitants on earth. We ahve decided to rape the earth for all it's worth and ignore everything else that God has given us. In the face of such calamity of shortages of water, fuel and food we blaspheme by talking about others, worrying about people and our social context forgetting our own. I hope khutbahs from now on will mention the destruction that is being done in the name of extreme capitalism and extreme consumer culture. It is nice to purchase things and that provides growth in our economy but at the same time it produces a double sided edge whereby our actions also pushes us to pervert the system. We are being fooled by wealth, we are being fooled by prestige and markers of prestige and most of all, we are greedy and full of desire. We worship the new God called money, forgetting the real God of love and compassion. We change cars repeatedly to gain the prestige of our peers but forgetting that their awe is lost in a second of envy.
The price of rice is gaining momentum as droughts appear on earth, previously before the price of wheat and flour had skyrocketed affecting flour based products such as cakes and chappatis, bread and noodles. The next generation shall live, we may say they may not but who are we to say what happens when? If we even ever leave this earth let it be that we have left it in all of the Supreme Being's splendour. We abuse water by washing our cars daily, for what? It is a sign of prestige in our society, not a sign of cleanliness. Signs of cleanliness show when we start using our toilets responsibly, when our parents have started to tell us to wash after ourselves cleanly and to leave toilets behind us, for other people to use. Our complete disregard for letting toilets become dirty has become an analogy of our behaviour towards our next generation, we do not want the best for our children. We will let them ravel around their dirt and dirtiness. Companies MUST participate. We MUST start thinking environmentally even if at a smaller scale. It IS do-able. We can start pooling cars, everyday we see tens and thousands of Bruneians going home from work with only them in ONE car. Imagine if we pooled those who lived nearby each other and by rote the drivers change daily, and if we fear aurat, isn't it as simple as pooling women workers with women workers and men workers with men? Teenagers and young adults do it all the time, they pick up their friends one by one thereby saving energy. W shouldn't focus on the small things only, we should focus on the big things as well. Once we live in a world with more understanding, less prejudice and ignorance, more multiculturalism and compassion I believe that all the lesser problems touted such as the breakdown of the family can be amended. The world is no longer globalizing, It IS Global.

I have always disliked the haute couture industry although once inawhile I let myself be drawn into the smaller things. But lately I have been kicking myself for even allowing such things to happen. My sister have fallen victim to the desire of wanting to be like everyone else and thus abusing herself as well as those around her with her whining. We are victimes of the consumer culture whether we like t or not, I wouldn't mind if the consumer culture was involved in the helping of poor countries or struggling countries. What with the hypocrisy of AID organizations and their so-called expensive administrative costs that only leave blankets in the middle of Ethiopia. But that is not the case, haute couture is not ethically responsible for the plight of others, every other MAJOR CORPORATION in the world is DEFINITELY EXPLOITING LABOUR. It pressures people into believing in obesity, it pressures people in to believing in health, it pressures people into believing that products can make your LIFE better, when it cannot.

Simulacra and Simulation

It seems to me, re-watching the Matrix trilogy, something was amiss when I read a couple of blog posts that Baudrillard and Christianity are strange bedfellows. I couldn't disagree more, perception that is argued by Baudrillard has become hallmark of postmodernist theory clearly apparent in modern thought, deconstruct, annihilate. Although it has some of its uses, but as I said, it relates to the previous post of deconstructing semanticity, and as they say there is nothing new under the sun. What I need to touch between the hallmark of philosophy on the one hand and reality on the other, is the lack of relativity. This is the language of the literati, the elite, the knowledged ones. But they are not, as I echo today's lecture by Prof. Walker, in relation whatsoever to the heterodox, homogenous common belief of every human being on this planet. So much for revealed truths, the simulacrum is true. If so - what? It does not benefit the lower masses, it does not touch the edges of society. You tell a poor man, woman or child, you don't need this, this is futile whatever signs that you make is useless and needless. Do you think they care to believe you? Desire is a more potent answer to all these things. The desire to seek the truth, the desire to acquire something new, the desire to own, to master, to have power. They are sporadic existences of humanity that have managed to attain their so-called Nirvana, they are free from those chains - but the rest? They are still chained by desire, however strongly we could always look towards asceticism and the abandon of the world, I could say modern nihilism has much to do with past nihilism, just because you prepare different labels for it does not necessarily mean that its totally and completely different. And if you take Baudrillard's word for it, it doesn't mean anything, you attach those meanings to it. Although I could agree, that with the power of without the need of attaching meaning you could definitely see the world at a different view in fact a more peaceful, almost giving view. Thanks Jun for this new line of thought to be explored - Juburmu Itam :)

Deconstructing semanticity

A long time ago I read Rene Descartes in this cute book called Sophie's World, from them on at the age of twelve I began a journey of philosophical understanding that boggles my mind to this day. I've always been fascinated with how Rene Descartes arrived on his conclusions regarding the blank slate and his maxim - Cogito Ergo Sum, I think therefore I am and sometimes, I think therefore I exist. Many people take for granted how they assumed this world and at the next point of understanding is that when they do learn of such things they fail to realize how much impact if only the regular layman had easier access to the resources available to those who read. Do not take it for granted either that everybody should read if they wanted to learn. There are numerous possibilities as to how everyone can begin learning and even until one's own death can learning can never be complete. The Universe of God is too vast, too wide that I fail to understand, even on this green earth not everyone can comprehend the vastness and multiplicity that is available for constant wonder.

When we think of Rene Descartes we think, why should I wipe my mind clean of everything that I have thus so far assumed as FACT? Fact is ofcourse (but don't take my word for it), a series of deconstructed ideas that have managed to push us into situations that make us believe certain things and reject others. For example, when some people believe that women are weaker than men, while this is biologically true to some extent, but it could be noted that there exists exceptionally strong women who are stronger than most men. And when someone describes fact, they are always in doubt - what is fact? Fact is as most people believe it to be, a series of biological and scientific truths. Doctors cannot but must accept that all truths are driven from fact. Although scientific study is not a bad thing and I am not saying it is, but due to the lack of knowledge in our part and even the semantic knowledge of our part, we fail to understand the due importance of biology and even 'natural' biology. In order to operate and save lives, doctors must take these medical arrivals which are the norm (Note: Norms exist however, according to Hume one must always keep a possibility that there is something against the Norm - Always). For example, doctors take note that everyone must have a collar bone, but in the case of the Cape Malays, there are cases of anomalies that people exist without the collarbone. And as we're talking about Norms, we perceive that everyone has ten toes but there are certain tribes even after intermarriage, still occurs groups of people born with only three large toes. Are they an anomaly? If so, how is it that there are many of them? A group of people cannot be considered an anomaly, an anomaly only exists of a Many Norm against a One Anomaly. It is the same with skin, our eyes, our hair colour and our height, it is the same with every aspect of our body. What is the Norm?

When people like Rene Descartes begins to question everything that they see, and they have good reason to question whatever it is that they see (for example, according to our mind's eye scientists have measured that retinas and such make objects seem larger than they actually are - don't ask me how they do it, one of these days I'll quote the study for you). You cannot trust the material world - in fact whatever it is that you have described as fact, something you use to believe in every day life is not true, then you are lost, your mind a Blank Slate. How does one trust anything now that everything is wrong? questionable? Then Descartes thought and thought, and then it was right in front of his mind, His Thought. His rational brain had questioned all around him. And because of this questioning it was all that remained of the empty slate. It was then that Descartes realized, I think therefore I am. I actually exist even if in my head, you cannot trust the physical world, they are made of fakes but you can trust your head even if it may lead you to paths unknown. Fear of paths unknown will create new avenues that make people understand better, be less prejudiced, be more kind. Isn't that the whole purpose of existence? Or should we deconstruct that too?

Mass Media - The other skin

Following representations in the mass media, it is surprising that society has made no notice of how television influences a lot of people's lives - why? Like Dove with it's the image of beauty campaign they used the idea of how reality is distorted into block images of what should be acceptable in television and other images - ELSEWHERE. Let's for example bring up WHITE television which is pervasive in many categories of our lives. It's not that the fault is the fact that the mass media IS white, in WHITE America but the workers are well - not. Most are either of Latin, Asian, African, Semitic origin. Like Monk, why is Monk portrayed like a white person when the actual personal character of Tony Shaloub is that of a Lebanese Arab? Semitic actors are made to act Christian and celebrate Christmas, some - like Seinfeld. Are Jewish, so why aren't people or audiences attracted to other visions aside from the healthy white Christian wholesome image? Not everyone is white that's for granted, and not everyone is Christian - excuse me. And Friends? David Schwimmer is rumoured to ONLY date Jewish girls. What about Jennifer Aniston? or Anastassakis as her real name is, a Greek orthodox girl reminiscent of my Big Fat Greek Wedding, and yet she represents this wholesome white American/Irish/German immigrant image. Not to mention that there is a SERIOUS lack of racial representation in white television/comics/any media platform. Is it because other cultures show a penchant for the weird? The UNAmerican? Like being fat? Or having sharp teeth? Or having rings around your neck? Or some people getting pregnant and getting married at an unapproved age? Is there such a thing as a universal value such as keeping in check everyone? I do agree, you shouldn't maim, hurt, torture people. But sometimes American images of what torture is so different than that of the rest of the world, and they don't get it, and Americans don't get it either. Although if you're Jewish I doubt that they don't get it - being UNwhite and UNAmerican. Black models, I mean you can cite BLONDE, TALL and THIN models off of your head easy. Black models? I know Tyra Banks, Naomi Campbell and that girl with short tight curls with a tall body, that's all. Seriously. And I suspect they recruited these girls not because they're beautiful but to mask the racist fashion industry that worships only tall, thin, blonde and white models. I mean they could have easily recruited as many black models as they wanted, question is why not? As far as I'm concerned the only movie I saw most recently that broke the chain of racism was John Tucker must Die as Ashanti became a head cheerleader in a white school - how? I don't know. How often do we see bi-racial families or cross racial actors? Or families other than white? Heroes other than white, or in P.S. I Love You, a Black couple instead of a white couple? Or even an Asian couple? Sure we should all see more foreign films. In Brunei it isn't such a hard task, everyone's hooked on whatever Asia has to offer. But America, being a melting pot - what's the problem? Even British television or advertising - come on! Indians left and right and all you've got to offer is Life is Not All HaHaHeHe and The Kumars at No.42 Gang?

The problems of Africa

In terms of resource, Africa has a huge army of labour, that is easily exploited in due fact because of the lower exchange rate. The other factor is that Africa as a continent, is filled with almost all the valuable resources exchanged daily. To name a few, the metal ores in Africa are used to supplement Playstations (all types), electricity, computers, conductors. Gold, a very common jewelry fixture and the Blood Diamonds. According to planetark.com, Africa's way to fighting poverty is right under their feet. Their natural wealth is enough to sustain the whole of Africa itself if it didn't bother itself with their petty wars (which is often the rule of the rich over the poor). The case of exploitation in Africa is very very strong. They are exploited for every single facet by their own people who in turn think of themselves like white. The South African government which allowed apartheid for decades is no better. Racism exists in South Africa where unfortunately the wealthy are often white and the poor often black. A growing black middle class is still not helping towards the development of Africa. As I have said before, Africa needs not mimic the development of the West. Brick houses do not mean wealth. Economists who the Africans life depends on their speculation categorize specific GNP as the only key resource to wealth. Economists are becoming stereotypical as to their judgement of wealth, so-called experts being used are nothing but a mere calling to a false premise and invalid argument. Such examinations are often peppered with such Appeal to Authority that they are attributing a false cause towards a real problem. If they have solved it in the first place how is it that repeatedly after all the money being sent to Africa people there are still in famine? Do you think Bush's sanctions on Sudanese economy is because they feel bad for the Sudanese people? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Sorry, as Reagan and Nixon, he's in it for the money he can make. Here I was sitting here thinking about how lousy my life is, I think it's because I am surrounded by a lot of people who do not recognize the value of living and of life.

Star Wars

The holidays are coming to an end and therefore it must be filled with watching good movies. Now, the last time I watched something it was The Matrix. The Matrix 2 and 3 are fucked up. I don't get it, do you get it? I don't it was fucked. The first one was good, very good but the Wachowski brothers ruined a classic. I think it was hastily put...the first Matrix that should ever be released should have shown more people that have been released from the Matrix. Okay with that said now we go on to more very important business...The One Love...Star Wars.

Once in awhile I do enjoy the Star Trek book but I have never touched a Star Wars book, there is fear lurking beneath me for that reason I don't want to know. But after watching for two days in a row, from the Ist to the VIth, I want more. Not more episodes I mean they SHOULD remake Star Wars 4-6. I understand that purists will be mad at me, but after seeing the fighting scenes from 1 & 2, you would be mad not to make 4-6 wonderful. We're not destroying the older Star Wars, NO - FAR from it. In the old days, many artists would do the same play but built in their own fashion within that play. If Star Wars was a Space Opera ( I hate Kill Bill I don't know why, I love Pulp Fiction a lot though) then shouldn't remakes be made so that the audience can enjoy it one more time?

Dear Mr. Lucas,

You, are a fucking genius. Please, remake 4-6. Use the suggestions from the millions of Star Wars fans and I guarantee you have a major box office that would give you BILLIONS of dollars, BIGGER than the stupid Titanic movie. We LOVE Star Wars, we do, VERY MUCH. Please Mr. Lucas, if only we could all parade in front of your office/house and show how much we all will support a Star Wars remake.

Yours sincerely,

Liyana T.

Racism again

I was reading around and I came across a very interesting issue which has not been resolved. I am sure the world is still reeling over the death of Benazir Bhutto, corrupt or not, it at least serves as proof that Muslims in general are not the enemies of whatever entity. It just so happens that some Muslims believe that they should go with terrorism, albeit how stupid they seem that is their business. Some Christian communities ask why are not many Muslims protesting against this? I protest this all the time, many authors have protested against terrorism, racism, prejudice, sexism. But these are after all voices in the dark compared to the higher stronger voices of hatred that are prevalent within the society of man. I wonder why weren't there many Christians protesting and helping the Irish Protestants a few years back? Instead the American government actually supported Northern Ireland's sanctions. Well, that is your issue to contend. Back to the racism that I wanted to talk about.

I read a couple few backdated newspapers and was quite surprised that the racism in South Africa is still largely prevalent. I did a paper on Malaysian racism but it wasn't as seriously as rampant as the one evident in South Africa. My question is this, I have no wonder why both sides of black and white have been swindling and hurting each other. There have been many black people who have attacked white people and white people hurting black people left, right and centre. So I think it should be fair. What I don't think is fair is the fact that both these sides hate each other and in the act of retaliation, serve to continually perpetuate the initial hatred. I lie in a world full of hate I admit. Is there anyway that we can keep racism at bay? The Chinese initially had disregard for any lands besides their own while British forces FORCED their way in to China. And when we read The Great Gatsby, Tom remarks that he all other races should be kept below the white man. I do realize that the form of language I have used is the voice of that the conqueror who hates. But my own mother tongue is the tongue of slaves of those who enslaved others and have no regards for its actions. Where am I left then? Except to use this language because this is the one I am most comfortable with and the easiest to reach those who believe in the same things that I do. It seems, both sides of the coin, both revolution and the given can bring no benefit. To fight would mean the death of many, and to lie low, a slow death. How can we fight racism then? I shake my head because as yet I do not have the solution. Liberte`, equalite`, fraternite`

The incentive of religion

Has anybody of a right mind realized that religion is a great incentive for men but not for women? Let's take Christianity for example, do you realize that women are born into this world tainted with sin? Maybe that is why I never made that cross towards Christianity, because God sure knows if I did, automatically I'd be paying for the sins of Eve. And for the other start I think Islamic rationality has been perpetrated by Christian theology and St. Augustine, so much so that it's beginning to sound a bit like Jahiliyyah. So much, that it seems having a female child is a burden than a blessing. How many Islamic theologists expound it like so? Even Imam Al Ghazali was not lost from the raptures when he mentioned women are like animals shrouded with the face of humanity so as men could copulate with them. Let me explain to you, I was born into this world without a choice. I was not given that choice to become male or female. Why are certain things so-called 'forbidden' for me, but allright for men? I did not make this choice, God chose it for me. Why are you treating my sex like animals? Answer me, why am I subjected into this second gender slavery? I eat, I cry, I feel pain and I also have joy. Then why am I lesser than a human being?? Why are men the highest of the high? I thought God was fair, but maybe God is fair that is why He has placed me among you idiots. You use God as a tool inciting him to bring fear as if he is always at your side. Have you not thought for once, that He is my God too? I'm fucking pissed. Anyway, I want a potluck party next week, be warned girls