Saturday, December 29, 2007

The science of economics


Okay, once in a while I like to dabble with economics, and especially I have been reading Freakonomics. But more especially so, I did a course on economy and society which I like to add, has been beneficial despite my current C results (wah3!). Often I would read about the economy as a glimpse, like that great article about the Goldilocks economy between the US, the UK and China (which by the way made me seriously think about buying property in London...more expensive rentals than Brunei I suppose and I found a nice little house in West London costs as much as my house here. pipe dream probably). Now, as you may have heard, the Great British Pound Sterling has dropped from its steely 1 pound = to 3 $Singaporean/Bruneian Dollars to a mere 1 pound = 2.80 $Singaporean/Bruneian. Now I don't have to add that this is a crucial factor for most people what with I hear UKers running to and fro to buy bohemian houses in Bulgaria (I don't know why though cos I'm not British). I know I read haphazardly and I don't necessarily have read the most utterly recent books because I don't have the worry of foreigners and white Americans because they have read the reviews and whatnot. I am simply in a blissful bubble of utter ignorance due to the fact that nobody I know reads regularly so I wouldn't at any rate be caught knowing the surprise intended for me by the book. So, quite happy here. Now, I know it seems a bit sociological with Levitt but of course as an economist (but, ofcourse~~) he ignores many factors whilst measuring his data concerning unwanted children often would become criminals. It is a fact. But it isn't necessarily the truth. He admits this because he made a comparison between a black economist who has 'made' it and a crazy Unabomber with high I.Q. Another one of his quotes that I think is extremely a blunder was that he said something about I.Q. being strongly hereditary. Hereditary in which factor? Is it nutrition that presupposes I.Q.? I know for a fact that despite I was smoking whilst being pregnant (not much, mind you) all of my children are above the average birthweight for an Asian child, almost to the average of a white child but it could be that nowadays Asian children have the same bodies and heights as Caucasian children (given this is also true because of food globalization impacts). No longer do Asian children depend on rice and noodles which actually has been called inferior to millet, oats and wheat, a Caucasian staple. My children themselves eat both rice and bread daily. He also pointed out about youth pregnancy and young mothers resulting in criminal children. I did have my daughter when I was 19, and thankfully unlike most people which I can understand, can afford expensive things for my children. It could also be the fact that I am an exception to the norm because a) I am from a middle class family and b) my husband makes 40,000 a year and c) I have inherited money at some unknown level (Gifts, a house). While the rest of youth pregnancies results from an unwanted union whereas mine was a wanted union. It is also a known fact that when couples establish themselves at an earlier level over the fact that many people are still beginning their careers and jobs and therefore have lower pay than those at the other end of seniority. The other factor then is that they often come from working class families. So what? Lesser knowledge of birth control? I don't want to say that I.Q. is hereditary, many known child prodigies have sprung out of single mothers and one of them became the president of the United States (doesn't make him smart though), Bill Clinton. They are not exception to the norms, norms are after all a copycat of each other. What these women are able to do however is that they are opposite to the norms themselves initially. As Levitt would point it out which he failed to do, these are 'indicators' of the social problem NOT the cause of it. Many parts of the world do practice youth marriages and childbirth and many actually thrive, why? It's the cultural condition of the situation. As a sociologist and an anthropologist, the social situation of America makes it difficult for a single mother to survive because they are on their own. This is unlike Asian societies where family is everything. The social network of family protects the financial institution therefore, more family control, less spending more money pooling and no wastage. Food is after all, after a couple of days would become bland and thrown away. In a household like mine where there are many teenagers (3) and children (3) and adults (5) it constitutes no waste. Everyone would eat it, leftovers are gone in a matter of minutes. And another imperative question what is I.Q. anyway? I've taken an I.Q. test and I got a high intelligence score but that only indicated that I was well versed with English that I knew these answers. One of the questions was I think concerning Albert Einstein and his E=mc2. Now my question is this, is a person who have been educated in a village setting concerning very important matters such as the growing of rice and the technique of irrigation, something Western academics know very little about is lesser intelligent than I am? But what of Albert Einstein, I will never use E=mc2, for one thing it isn't anymore valid and for another why would I want to ponder on the theory of relativity in application of my daily life? I have never used it past my physics class back in HighSchool and that was a very long time ago (6-7 years ago). But the growing of rice and irrigation is an important factor in life, many of the rice grown would be sold overseas supporting the livelihood of many a people. The quality of intelligence does not support the quantity of life. I.Q. is more likely Western knowledge versus Practical knowledge. Most people who are simple and are not academically well tuitioned are very street smart. They know the art of living and they have ground it to a T. They have limited resources and yet they make the most of it, and most of all they never need to be pained and concerned with other issues outside of their vernacular sphere. They know they will never be wealthy, but this does not mean they are not content. It also does not mean that the Western lifestyle is easily equatable with a DESIRED lifestyle. Most people assume that the highest of the high Western lifestyle is the most desirable most sought for lifestyle. Although in some cases this is true, but then again its because people are taught that they are true. There are still many wise hunters and gatherers out there who do not make the decision and leap towards wanting to become like the West as shown by the rich Kayapo. Western knowledge has been utilized but not necessarily wanted. Sure, there were many loopholes in Freakonomics, that's why they're economists and we're anthropologists and sociologists.

Saturday, December 22, 2007

Crime Novels






What with all the children and everything and needing at least a dozen eyes to keep an eye on them, I have made it through and this is my list for the few days I have been reading them around. 1) Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's Illustrated Collection of Sherlock Holmes (included Hound ofthe Baskervills and Sign of Four) 2) Agatha Christie - And then There Were None 3) Agatha Christie - Clocks (Hercule Poirot) 4) Patrick Neate - City of Tiny Lights. Ok they're not in order of the best to worst but it is a fantastic comparison between 3 different generations of thriller writers. One thing for sure, all were English so I suppose the English authors have an aptitude for crime novels much because Sir Arthur Conan Doyle had started it, and I very much applaud them for that. This could include, Roald Dahl's more morbid collection of horror stories
.Allright, I though Clocks was far better than And Then There Were None, Clocks being one of her more uncelebrated books while And Then There Were None has managed to single its way out into video games and TV movies. Hercule Poirot in this imagery was special, for one thing, Poirot was not around most of the time, in fact he played a minor character while the other two, Hardcastle and Lamb played the major parts. Ironically, it was frankly reminiscent of a book I read a few months back, Jo Nesbo's The Devil's Star, surprisingly. Or maybe not so surprisingly considering that many crime novelists take their cue from old novelists. I actually appreciated the fact that Christie made Poirot as if on his last notes, using patterns of old authors to solve new crimes, and it made it enough realistic as soon as he quotes a song from Lewis Caroll's Through The Looking Glass (Alice in Wonderland for you and me) and citing several patterns in crime novels obvious to the untrained eye blablabla. I suppose characters like Poirot then I parallel with the likes of Patrick Neate's Tommy Akhtar are both private investigators. Both have born the brunt of a life that cannot surprise them anymore. Poirot as an ex Belgian copper and Tommy as an ex mujahideen who has been in a pointless war. What strikes me as wonderful though is that Neate was able to bring in fresh air towards something that has gone stale. I congratulate you there Neate, you're not Muslim but you make the experience seem so real. As if such a character actually exists...knowing authors, he probably does. A shady Ugandan-Indian Paki (Hahaha) I mean it was brilliant. It was easier for them because they were outside the brunt of the law, they weren't coppers. Coppers have to work inside the mainframe of institution. Private eyes on the other hand don't. That is why the successful character in Jo Nesbo's the Devil's Star, although was a cop but a shady one at that, used to breaking rules left,right and centre. And then to the original Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. Although I have to admit that his formula seems to be repetetive, but him as like Poirot are both vain people and I suppose Poirot actually identified himself better with Watson, image I suppose. I do reckon one thing though, if anyone was murdered right here in Brunei and had the superior knowledge of CSI as well as the rest of the crime novels, they could get away scot free. Just like that Indian doctor who was killed a few years back in the 90s by some foolish petty thief in Kiarong. I think it's probably an accident because frankly, Malay people although quite stupid at the most...are very soft-hearted people.. Not as hard-hearted as the rest of the people in this world. We haven't seen much suffering in this world and quite frankly often it is a suffering made out of our own hands. And even then not as purely pathetic and depressing as in the rest of the world. World War? Nothing much, a bunch of Chinese people getting killed by the Japs. Chinese people on the other hand have that feeling, I don't know why, somehow they have felt more of the brunt than we have and I'm not quite sure why. There have been horrible accidents involving Malay people but honestly it doesn't haunt the Malay psyche, it's probably due to the fact to Malay axioms of not mourning the dead, and letting go with a normal philosophy of accepting everything be it cruel or kind. We call it the Qadha and Qadar. Ironically, although it exists in most Muslim societies, only this part of the Malay world has taken that adage seriously. Awful world? Accept. Bad parents? Accept. Raped? Marry the rapist. Other people in the other parts of the world are unlike that, they don't accept, bad things happen they must change it to become better. I'm not sure why, is it because it's rooted? Well, I for one isn't like that. Probably, it is a newer generation kind of thing.It's got much to do with the wars in Tommy Akhtar's world, in Hercule Poirot's pattern synthesis. In the colonial world lived by Sherlock Holmes and Watson in the Sign of Four. It also exists in the immigrant prejudice in Nesbo's world as well. People have evolved to the extent that they are free. But to put it right, Man is not cursed to be free as said by the French philosopher (can't put out his name right now, can't remember it). Man is a product of his society. How can he be free? Often if he is, like Tommy Akhtar, even he himself is bound to social stigma rules of operation.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

The Madness of Religion

Don't get me wrong. I'm a religious person myself. And awful awful, I am a Muslim and yes, I do believe in a God. But it seems as if lately everyone has gone mad? Not just Muslims, Christians and Jews. Have you people gone insane? What is all this about the Imam Mahdi similar to the AntiChrist, a Jewish Messiah, Jesus will come down announce the end of time. History has always been bloody and it always will. We have speculated too much on something we do not know. And often religions have always been as one very intelligent lecturer put it, a victim of history. And yes, all these three Abrahamic faiths have been the victim of history and all three are a bit crazy in the brain. Why am I not allowed to criticize my own religion? I love God, it sounds crazy but I do. Why? Because I need Him. He keeps me sane in an insane world and as crazy as it may sound but often when I pray for a solution he gives it to me. A lot of people have accused God to be missing, I don't care if you don't believe in God, I don't believe people who don't believe in God will go to hell, it sounds too ridiculous to me. Like when someone says the people who are hunters and gatherers have no religion and therefore they will go to hell - I DISAGREE strongly. So if they are not aware they should be punished? The fuck is wrong witchu? Where's your ijtihad? Your common sense? What I am sorry to see is all these three faiths are head on tails hating one another. That's sad. What's sad is they don't care and no matter how much I say this, no matter how much I preach and preach of why those who are suffering need too be helped. It's like a lost cause, all of you have turned deaf on me. It's like when my friends think that all Jews will go to hell, what do you think Jesus is made out of? Mediterranean Asian? And all Jews thinking that they are the Chosen People, what about us, are we all going to hell because I checked I'm not Jewish. And what of Christians who think that babies who are not baptized will end up in limbo? You do not have the choice of life. None of us do. We are born not understanding this world, slowly as we grow those who have lived before us tell us how this world works. We do not have a choice on the colour of our skin. We do not have a choice on how much money we have. Nor do we have the choice to be born of what gender, what sexual preferences we should have. None of these are our choices, they are given to us. Often, society shapes us into a mold that they think is the right mold. Sometimes, these molds are wrong and should not be taken so seriously. I am a mother, I wonder why people have lost that feeling of holding a newborn child in their arms and realize that these children have no choice as to what happens to them. They are new, clean white sheets from heaven who do not understand please remember that the key of religion is compassion, love.

Monday, December 17, 2007

Sex and Circumcision

Woohoo! Got a great topic for you boys and girls today. I've had enough being told left, right and center by the media how circumcision is BAAD for you. I was circumcised. But female circumcision for girls is more of a symbolic act, and a very painless tiny amount was taken off. Do I have bad sex than uncircumcised girls? as far as I'm concerned, I don't think so...I do have wonderful sex. I rarely need to fake it and my husband was not medically circumcised but actually kampong (village) circumcised, no anaesthesia, so also I think lesser foreskin is removed than most people. I've never had sex with an uncircumcized person so I don't know if its nice or not, I know a guy told me once he liked uncircumcized girls' pussy flaps, you know the one that hangs like a tongue. So I'm not sure. Personally, I liked that I was circumcized, its aesthetic, for me. Don't tell me the aesthetic is homogenous, for example, a lot of girls like Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt or Patrick Dempsey. I don't. Are you gonna force me to like Patrick Dempsey? Personally, I also liked my husband is circumcized and he cums, a LOT, so no problem there, he's 30 by the way, although I've heard men around their mid-twenties are beginning to feel as if their moms have taken away their plaything and they're not happy that its gone. I know for sure that some circumcision practices for women especially in Ethiopia are very dangerous and extreme, removing the labia altogether. Now that's crazy. I do think that it was developed as a method of child control, lesser sensitivity if the argument is true does involve lesser sex = lesser children. So I think that pre-modern societies use it as a form of birth control. Also, the guy who mentioned that he re-grew his penis said that he could achieve orgasm now as soon as you know, missionary position. Could it be, that men are circumcized so that they could satisfy us women more? Cos, men are lazy fuckers and I hear all the time on American TV that their women often fake their orgasms and that sex is not pleasurable for them. I'm wondering have they y'know use traditional aphrodisiacs that I have mentioned? Like Kacip Fatimah for women and Maa'jun for men? There's a reason we Malays and Indonesians use em you know. I know for a fact that old ladies here do get 'somethin somethin' with their male partners too. Ofcourse as women have children their vaginas become more distended making sex unenjoyable as well as having a dry vagina, although probably its because I depend on these herbs that rarely my vagina is dry during sex, except maybe he was turning me off? My husband has no trouble cumming as is most of my male friends and family members tell me too, at its quickest, around 10-20 minutes of sexual intercourse and at its longest probably 30-50 minutes or an hour of sex. Repeated sex is otherwise. Is that bad? I mean how quick do you want it to be? Cos honestly as a woman, I need to reach an orgasm around 10-20 minutes, at worst and if he's being good, well even a minute I could cum, its happened, it has happened that I get twice in a row. Damn, I'm lucky to be a girl. Whatever it is, it could be that circumcision works for you, or not. Some men feel as if that they are sexually inadequate because they are not circumcised and cannot perform. Some men are circumcised and think the same way too. I tell you what boys, it all sounds like 'he's got a better pecker than me! he's having better sex!' do not covet your neighbour kind of thing. If you are circumcized and do regret it, I suggest finding ways that makes your sex life better, the other if you are not circumcized, do the same thing, find ways to make it better. Now they wanna sue us parents just because we want to circumcize our kids? WTF?! You're a bad parent if you do this, you're a bad parent if you do that. For white people, you don't beat your kids well that's fine with me, but that is how I handle my kids. I don't hurt them but enough to scare them. For Fuck's sake I don't judge you for not spanking your kids, don't judge me because I do. It's the war of the cultures and everyday in anthropology this remains the case in point. Its all about feeling ethnocentric. What's right? What's wrong? Is there a universal right? Is there a universal wrong? There isn't and Russell Peters is a great example to show how true that could be.

Sunday, December 16, 2007

The Tan


White people go crazy for our skin. True true, they wouldn't be bothered to tan themselves so much and yet, our culture drives women to make themselves fucking white. White is the worshipped colour. Now, I'm bored with all this white talk. White people are nice, but they're too nice, not enough passion, not enough anger. They can be mean too when they're in the KKK. But, aside from the racism. I want to celebrate black and brown. No WHITE. Tired of half white people,No, I'm not being racist okay, I was also descended from white, so NO I'm not being racist. Half black, half white people are admittedly very very yummy. Like Julian Marley, who's the son of the late Bob Marley and Lucy Pound. Actually, a little too white for me but what the heck. I noticed though...I often don't go for white people? Am I racist? Sexually? I was reading Catherine Alliott's The Old Girl Network. I was laughing like mad because she was so honest, just as her character Polly rejects a Chinese man earlier in the story...she was playing a mind game with herself who she would sleep while in the tube and said he was a little too Chinesey...and she wasn't being racist, she was being a 'Toothist!' cos apparently he's got buck teeth. I couldn't help but remember that I liked that Japanese cook Tanaka and my husband who's actually a Malay...both parents, don't be mistaken for his face almost all Bruneian Malays look like that we really look like Chinese people I don't know why (or Arabic, or Indian, the truth is most of us are mixed...we just rarely mention it for the sake of MIB). Good God, I'm still hungover that frickin cook, I wonder why... as Amy Winehouse puts it, 'I'm not cheating cos you were always on my mind..yeah he looked like you, but I heard love is blind'. Well, honestly I wouldn't care if my husband has a million ladies if I just have that one cook :) . Where was I? Oh yeah white men...actually no, I'm not racist. There is this white older man that sometimes I slip into daydreams...honestly, if he was a little younger and we were both single...I would. So, no I don't think I'm racist I think I look for certain things in some people that signal their attractiveness to me. How can people be racist? Often sometimes there is a little something something that cross racially have, certain type of image everyone can fit into, eyes, nose, missing teeth (who knows!), obesity, slimness, hair, body, skills, intellect, humour. Something we're looking for in love. It's definitely not the skin, although sometimes it is about the skin but really? If people are NATURALLY racist, how is it I find something attractive about someone regardless of their skin colour? Originally, well...I like well-endowed men. And Malay men, because they are as one friend of mine actually contemptuously puts it, of black origin, often they are very well endowed. Nice stick you got there. And Sinitic men...well I've seen enough porn to know and Japanese women who tell, that it's kinda tiny although I'm sure it's powerful considering they managed like a billion people. And then I met this prostitute (fucking hell where do I get these people?!) she told me white men's dicks are soft although this is just a general picture, I'm very sure there are many who are opposite this view. But ladies, really? One friend told me, sometimes it's not how big it is, its how they use it. Which is true, and to help this course (because all men are stupid and want their cocks to be the biggest in the world) I advise you ladies to pick up some Indonesian Jamu, its herbs made into a pill to help with the vagina contracting, it's not to help the men silly girl, its for you. I use Mimi Lan Mintuno but there are others as well from Sariayu like Rapet Anak Dara I think? The tighter it is, the more sensitivity you feel down there and the more orgasms you get. I use it often so I can cum like crazy :) Plus exercise those kegel muscles MOVE it. Your vagina is superior to the male penis, SUPERIOR wayyy. It can push children out, it can withstand blows from a penis (yeah right, as if its that great), some girl asked me once...she said isn't it that old ladies can't have sex anymore? Ridiculous I say, it's men who can't have sex. We can have sex ANYTIME. The reason I think why many women reject their spouses as they age is because the sex is probably frustrating, NOT fun. Boring. Oh God...my dichotomy is coming again. I hate men LOL. Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian, too late. Lesbians, run you are probably having the best sex in the whole wide world...I wonder do gay men have as much fun as lesbians? Looks like they're having fun though. Heterosexual sex will never reach the heights of homosexual sex. It occurred to me, is it because gay people are more honest than straight people about sex is that why they get the better end of the stick? And yeah I do daydream about sex a lot, I swear I was supposed to be born a gay man.

The truth


The truth is nothing is MOVING. People are behaving well because Christmas is coming up and nobody wants to spend time in jail. By the way I was admiring a certain blog was called, The Assimilated Negro. Love it, this guy lives in NY and he's black well let him do the story talking. I think his blog is edging on artistic. I love this guy, if you haven't read him, you should, you're almost sinning not to read him. Anyway, back to reality, by the way I lost that fucking metal mole. Just so you know,I'm not planning to pierce myself anytime soon, so prolly gonna do that...when I feel like it. Slowly weaning Edward off the breast so mummy can go clubbing when she gets to Miri. Good God, I'm reliving those days when we took Edward to the Niah caves, This is just a photo of Edward and my husband at the mouth of the caves. Funny, I don't talk about it that often, it was fucking freaky. I'm thinking how am I supposed to do anthropological work like this? Although my husband said I easily chatted up the Iban women, there's hope for me yet. I can't wait to go clubbing actually, haven't done it in years so I'm crossing my fingers and hoping its nice. Maybe next year will be a year for travelling. I feel like it, I want to travel all over the place. Today is what, December the 17th, 2007. It's been a year since my last child and I'm only 22, and I can't have anymore children. It's both good and bad for me. I wanna smack my husband's bum, maybe both of us should get some exercise or something. Something. Ella starts school next year, handles the pc very well. Ezra seems to have a penchant for cooking and food (?). Edward well, he won't walk. I haven't done anything of note except getting a swiss full body massage from a Filipino lady, if you subscribe to Fifi's blog, she was in the next room while I screamed from pain. What else should I tie? Good books read this year especially Reza Aslan's No God but God. Loved Mariam's course on Political Sociology, comparative law. Although at times I admit it was a bit dry, but sometimes the realm of ideas is often dry. I think I find myself sinking into Islam a little too much this semester, what with Iik's class and Mariam's class. Next year will be more. I think the holidays were pretty short, but I don't think I can stand it too long either, it was getting too boring. I hope I got some As and Bs this semester...I admit I studied the night before the exam, and sometimes I don't know what the hell I'm talking about and often I just use whatever example I really2 know and recycle it...like five folds. I hope to God (I do believe in a God..Well!) that next year he will pour me the good happiness he has poured on to me this year. Sometimes, life feels its getting harder and harder every year. But sometimes, it feels fucking damn good.

Happy New Year, Merry Christmas, Kwanzaa, Hanukah, Selamat Tahun Baru, Moga Dirahmati Oleh Tuhan, and enjoy.

Yours with love,
xoxo

Liyana T

Saturday, December 15, 2007

The Whopee Effect

A thought has occurred to me, had to write it down. I know it sounds lame, its one of those if men can do it well women can do it to. Frankly, women can do a lot of things men can do, in fact almost everything while men cannot do one thing that we all can do, and what's fun is, we can do it without a guy! Except his sperm of course. Unless we've found a way to encode DNA settings and impregnate an ovum without a man. Kind of reminds me of Malaysia's issue concerning single women who are adopting children avoiding all the process of marriage and childbearing, the whole of Malaysia's so-called 'Ultra-religious' were against the idea saying that it would be detrimental to the child. The child who was initially abandoned on the side of the road only to be left in orphanages without single caring love of a mother? Sometimes it makes me angry that religious people act so called religious but they forget the essence of religion, let me repeat this for you you idiots, LOVE, CARE, DEVOTION and KINDNESS. That is the essence of Islamic religion or have you fat asses forgotten and just sat down due to the fact that your asses are so fully stuffed with dirty money. For more references on how fricking angry I was on Malaysia's so-called women's protection refer to the archives, it pissed me to the high heavens. Silly girls, FIGHT BACK, stop criticizing other women, you are all being divided like a butcher divides his lambs so that they don't rampage together.

Okay, getting carried away. I was thinking about men again. Gosh, such beautiful sexual objects. Now, girls listen to me carefully. Men, get weak knees thinking about other beautiful women, now ladies just think about all the beautiful men, imagine their beautiful thighs and their nice lovely chests and arms. Then look at your husband/boyfriend/fuck buddy/crush and compare the two. How sad is it that they're ugly compared to the beautiful men on display; please concentrate. Instead of men treating women as sexual objects, women should start thinking of men as sexual objects. In a book written by Fatima Mernissi concerning the hijab of women, Men, need to be 'protected' from their vice that is why women are covered from head to toe. The question is, if men are the ones who need to be 'protected' as Mernissi argues, why shouldn't we hijab men? Instead of them grabbing us, why can't we grab them? Often even in the West, scantily clad ladies going to the bars and pubs for a great night out would always find themselves being grabbed by drunken boys and men. Next time, grab them. See their reaction. GRAB them. Grab hard by the way, they like it that way especially on the balls, squeeze tight, don't let go. If the effect is similar to a human being being roasted on a spit of fire, keep squeezing. Men are taught to be victims of their sexual desire, I ask then why aren't women raised to become victims of their sexual desire? and b) why does a can of nasty always spill when it comes to sexually open ladies? and thirdly, society DOES encourage women to become shy, quiet, traditional, virgins, docile and domestic. I'm wondering if women act opposite of these expectations, would that be really bad? The truth is, women can have all of these things if only, they are strong enough in their convictions concerning it. I remember a young man telling me, the reason why he was dating a 13 year old (he was 16) was because he wanted to catch them young and 'train' them so that they would be 'merati', or understand, a term of understand used for animals, a trained cat 'merati' to poop in the special litter bin and a 'merati' woman is trained to be instructed. What of he? I said to him, 'well, that sounds awful, what do you think she is, an animal?' then he goes on to say ' Bini-bini ani, mun inda diajar awal2 babal, nda merati gauk,' 'females, if not taught from the beginning, will be stupid, don't understand anything, wild.', kind of like me, a 'wild' person, dirty and blablabla. When I explained to him several things he just kept quiet and shrugged. Well, that is the Malay Male attitude. Not all Malay men, just generic behaviour among their clan of men. Men are then encouraged to become wild, free and roam, while women are taught to be domestic and docile. The truth is when both have reached their forties and fifties they have become equals, both men and women. Increasingly, the woman nags and hates her husband while the husband just walks off, doing something else. A pattern so common in Malay households that my parents themselves developed prior to their divorce. Now, I don't think divorce is a bad thing. It's okay, a part of life cycle one must accept. It is this behaviour from both men and women initially even in the West that has created the separation of men and women. Why can't we learn from the Gerai? The Gerai instead of believing men and women are completely at odds, believe that men and women are complimentary towards each other. In their society some men, to pacify their crying babies would offer their nipples to be suckled on, they also have an incidence of male breastfeeding, although not as much as female breastfeeding. Is it so wrong that people can cross boundaries? Or have we become so completely foolish that we cannot see it for ourselves?

Friday, December 14, 2007

The Mating Ritual (II)

I had some guests over so I had to stop, went out and bought a lovely knife which accidentally I slit my finger open with because I thought it would act the same way as my other blunt knives. No, not suicidal, just chopping onions, big red indian onions.

Where was I? I was talking about sex and the mating ritual. The limit of property actually goes further than that. Mercantile societies such as the Indian and the Chinese or may I add, the Arab. Are more apt at building property and capital. As I said, they limited property didn't I? Well according to Marx, property build up capital is one of the reasons why some people are continuously rich and some continuously poor. Consider the foods that rich people eat, foie gras bla bla bla, grapes whatnot, consider what poor people eat, some foods are known to build children's brains in pregnant mothers. Take Vandana Shiva, this was her line of argument, take an undernourished girl who will become a mother, during pregnancy she was also undernourished and the child is born undernourished thus affecting the child's intelligence. Isn't it that intelligence perpetuates itself line after line as well as stupidity and poverty? Can you see how unfair the world is to begin with? But sometimes miracles do exist, poverty is a two way street that one cannot fathom even when Shiva has argued. The ascetic is wise and does not eat, what is it then that pushes humanity to become what it is? Its desire. Simple and plain desire. The desire to become poor will be rewarded as the desire will become rich, either way when an individual has seen the key that they can remain a certain way it will either perpetuate itself or remain only at that point. We are locked within a society filled with desire and this desire culminates itself in the mating ritual. Sex is always and often between two people of the same class and race and when these two intersect and cross class cross race sex is performed it is insinuated as rape. We fall in love with our own class who identifies with what we identify with, rarely do two different classes fall in love with each other, they are an anomaly that are represented in stories such as the Great Gatsby and Antara Dua Darjat. Love like that don't work. Like the rich beautiful middle class girl would fall in love with the hick who wants to grow up to be a common policeman? They won't and it won't happen, if they do intend to marry it would end with divorce because both are within a social standing that are in opposite forms with each other. Let's talk sex and the city, Miranda and Steve broke up because Steve was JUST a bartender, the social roles cannot connect therefore it ended. But as soon as Steve stops becoming JUST a bartender and opens his own bar he stops becoming the working class and as a capital owner, a bourgeoisie. Hence, Miranda's falling back in love with him and ends up marrying him, now their social standing does not differ they are both middle class people. It pops up in fairy stories as well mind you, Cinderella was a fallen bourgeoisie with her stepmother and stepsisters disguising the fact that she is as well, middle class. Fairy stories are littered with this, why the fuck is it necessary that a prince can only marry a princess? Or a girl who is disguised as being so poor but has come from a rich lineage. It's like the Da Vinci Code all over again, I hate that book. Absolutely positively hate the prose, although he does make a point and put it in a thriller. Jesus was a carpenter who was born from a lineage of Kings. Kinda reminds me of Kevin Smith's Dogma and Chris Rock was the black half-brother of Jesus. That was funny, what if Jesus was black? Or mediterranean, or Good God NO, Jewish :) . Oh back to the mating ritual, maybe its time to consider that cross-cultural cross-class marriages SHOULD take place and aside from the fact that both are between poverty and wealth, hey wealth isn't everything and if you want wealth why can't you do it yourself?

The Mating Ritual

In this world of unmitigated sex, and obviously one cannot run away from sex anyway. And I ended up talking about it with a good friend of mine, she says she doesn't enjoy sex sometimes with her paramour. Whatever it is, I could elicit that yes, sex is overrated especially in pornography. Seriously, nobody has tits like that and nobody has dicks like that, it just doesn't make any sense. I could be a feature of lampooning, after all anime has been gone on and on with teenagers buying images of large breasted girls and something about Yayoi sex? Gay sex with one of the partners looking like some sort of hot animal while the other a male but evidently with strong female features. I know, well the thing is most young women who don't fit into the mold of large breasted girls or extremely feminine girls for that matter always define themselves as being that mold of overly feminine looking man. Well, its not surprising considering a lot of women when they were younger often opt for men who look like Tom Cruise or Leonardo DiCaprio, the choice remains women often look for softer features when opting sexual choice and mating. I know its ugly that I boil down the whole issue of sex into a sort of mating ritual. But it is, isn't it? The dance of emotions during our prime begins with searching for potential partners who would become good agents for parenthood, and at least ample time for the child to grow up and soon multiply themselves in turn. Monogamy as I see it, (against those idiotic bio-sociologists) is just a trained social behaviour, to limit and control the spread of property. One wife will definitely guarantee only the right of one lineage of offspring. But what happens with two, three or four wives like in Muslim communities? Would that not limit the spread of wealth? Patrilineal societies that avoid altogether and even if they do practice polygamous marriages like the Chinese often are monogamous or hierarchical therefore a distinct differentiation of who gets what. It would often fall then that Islamic marriages are actually more egalitarian, despite what one may hear. If for example, there are four women to contend with, how can the will of one man defeat that of four women? For the love of God, if he beats one wife, they can always unite and beat him up in return, there's nothing in Islamic law that prohibits a woman from hitting their husbands, au contraire. See, ladies, do you get what I mean? There are always ways for women to get around the situation we should just start thinking like men just as Rosseau advised. Start raising girls like men and they will have less power over us. Instead, women have to fall into a series of deceit and deception. I often do give a little white lie to my husband often, actually I would then I would tell the truth. I'm not really a good liar. Where was I? I was talking about sex, wasn't I? Well...I'll leave that to part 2, I have some guests

Thursday, December 13, 2007

The dialectic of sex



I know, sounding off feminist now. Well, luckily one of the jobs I was doing involved reading up on Margaret Fuller and honestly, I was surprised at how interesting that got. Oh by the way I also read up on two literary novels which I never had the chance to get around to, the all American classics, the Great Gatsby and To Kill a Mockingbird. I know, actually I'm not a big fan of American literature, its a bit too southern for me, or am I just crazy? It was when I was pregnant with Ezra and I was reading on John Steinbeck, its just that the Southern heat its almost I could feel it the hot air breeze and the racism I could taste it. Now getting back to Harper Lee and F.Scott Fitzgerald. I actually was very angry when I finished reading the Great Gatsbv, how was it possible that Fitzgerald could create a character so pathetic in Gatsby that your heart could almost fall apart remembering his fate. I know it was something similar to an old P.Ramlee movie, Antara Dua Darjat between the rich and the poor but who would have thought that Gatsby's wealth didn't become an equalizer, while Daisy, well, I suppose I can understand her...somewhat. Tom was her confidante, regardless if he had another woman, they were the same class, the same social status whereas Gatsby, he was noveau riche. To Kill A Mockingbird on the other hand was satisfying but not as satisfying as Uncle Tom's Cabin. Ironically, written by a Quaker woman. Reminded me of how was it that Charlotte Bronte an isolated woman was able to write Wuthering Heights. Anyway those two things out of the way let me get back to Margaret Fuller. Whilst reading on Fuller and her wonderful wonderful prose, I cannot help but think while Fuller was on her topmost breath screaming for women, Candace Bushnell in her Sex and the City book was the product of that freedom. When will women be satisfied? (Hehehe making it sound like Carrie Bradshaw now) Women sucked back then and they sucked now. Maybe, its because - listen to this, WE WOMEN ARE SELF-CRITICAL. have you ever heard of a man who is self-critical? ALL MEN are VAIN. Well, except men who are like women. But that is the sad truth, women are foolish because they criticize themselves too much while men fucking foolish because they don't. Then there's Gertrude Stein with Alice Toklas. Stein herself never promoted equality of the sexes for women. A quote was attributed to her, that even if women were given the freedom to do whatever they liked, they would still remain oppressed slaves of men. Viva La Femme.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

stormy weather


I'm getting the love bug. My sister says I get it very frequently. Often I would fantasize for hours while listening to Billie Holiday. The thing is, I love it, I obsess about love, as strange as that sounds I actually dislike any representations of love on a more 'pop' level, and yet I desire love very much? Or maybe I desire lust :)

Aside from those feelings of anxiety, recently Bali and islanders of the Trobriands and Papua New Guinea have launched an extensive effort to either maintain and conserve the earth's resources and start thinking about climate refugees. Their estimated flood would be in 2070, I would be 85 in 2070. Assuming long lives run in my mother's family albeit the fact that they are all mad. I think obviously Brunei, too will be flooded. Its the smallest island, if Bangkok was to be flooded what more Brunei? Well not the smallest island, Borneo is the second biggest island in the world, but an island nonetheless, we live so close to Huxley's line the deepest line of the oceans. Not oly that as more and more bio-fuel resources are being explored I cannot help but think this transient wealth that is in Brunei will soon be swept away, what's sad is, Bruneians aren't even that rich or still well-informed enough to survive in this harsh world. Too much bumiputera policies like in Malaysia I suppose have left us Malays weak. What are we fit for anyway? None of our race are pioneers, or have made it great to superstardom, the world is still conquered by others who are more capable than us. That being said, I must remember Anthony Burgess when he mentions the 'Malays are a lazy, handsome race.' The next time I'm concerned about is the 'Next Depression.' If the 1920s were anything to go by is that no matter how great something looks, it could crash. It's also the end of the Goldilocks economy for the UK and the US. See, so many problems so little time. And life it seems could be as futile as ever, but man its worth living it.

Love,

Liyana T

Saturday, December 8, 2007

The next Sexy


In addition to the number of males I've liked and often if I do like a certain 'rising' star they often end up being a center, I have the 'queer eye' my dears. Oh I do do and I know you girls know I do. so here's the next person to become well lets just put it this way, I do think about him before I go to sleep and I do enjoy it...a Lot. I'm not sure if he's gay or not as Carrie Bradshaw's GBF had put it, 'the accent throws me off,'. So my gaydar's probably not working although my fantasies have involved, his fingers, him, me and an island table. God I wish it was fucking true. Although a few months after I might be looking at another rising star. My theme is...guys with long hair. Because after the fall of Gale Harold, its been hard to find men with sensual lips and thinking cunnilingus. I know you girls...and boys would love him. You can catch him on Astro every Wednesday an Thursday on Cooking It, similar to Faking It. Unfortunately, I'm not that bad a cook so I won't be a guest anytime soon. God, still thinking about those fingers, the island table, me, cunnilingus and Jun Tanaka ;)

Friday, December 7, 2007

Soul Music

I was listening to Billie Holiday's Strange Fruit again. What I realized back then and what I realize now is that sometimes we always turn a blind eye towards racism. Sometimes I feel like saying hey, I hate racists but I can't just say that many people I know and like are racists and even sometimes racist towards me, but still they like me. Racism here in the East probably isn't as bad as racism in the West, it exists and often there are racist jokes here and there but if a member of our race married another indian or chinese or black or white, we just stop and shrug, okay. It doesn't end like it does in America between the whites and the blacks. I found an interesting website where you can actually see how horrible it is back in the early 1900s, its in www.withoutsanctuary.org . There's no such thing among the Malays as keeping other races in their place, although Tunku Abdul Rahman's policy might be different in the eyes of the West but it still remains we think of each other as equals. Intermarriage here is more common than there, often you find a Malay married to a Chinese, a Chinese married to an Indian, I myself am a product of such things and so are many people I know. But what causes the West to become as it is? When Kramer of Seinfeld responded to two young black boys that '50 years ago, you would have been hung upside down with a fork in your ass' [sic]. It wasn't so much was his words but when he continually responded,'well that's what happens when you interrupt the White Man' (emphasis author's own). And then there was Tom, Daisy's husband from the Great Gatsby when he said the White race is the top race and that soon the other races would swamp the Whites. What does that mean exactly? Just as I would answer sexist Muslims, or sexist Christians, Jews and the whole lot. I did not choose to be born this way, I did not choose to be brown, I did not choose to be female. I did not have this choice, how can I exist in this world and given a set of choices so limited on the basis of my sex and race? Believe me if I had a choice a) I would be gay and b) I would be agnostic but I have rejected these two choices out of my own reason and rationality and I can't. Is it as conspiracy theorists put it, ultra-white politicians controlling the government? Hahaha. Probably one or two deep down inside are ultra-white, but they are also extremely conservative and I'm imagining Bush kicking off his feet and remarking 'what a waste that Rice is black, she's so conservative,'. I don't get it, I've said it time and again, I brush off my skin and it won't turn white, I like some white people they've been my mentors, teachers and lecturers. I don't hate white people, I hate racist white people. Just as much as I hate racist people. Maybe Michael Moore is right, rather than avoid the question of colour maybe we should be more open about it, like for example I was at a bar, I noticed Jamaicans liked to wear colourful clothes then I said it to this Jamaican guy, he misunderstood it that I was referring to the colour of his skin, less sensitive okay? Its not like I'm fucking white, I have darker skin than some black people. Its politicized, all of this, read some political sociology :P

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Ploy, Sunday Morning & Frank's Social Stratification


I rarely talk about movies in my blog. Rarely...just to show that I have an impeccable taste in art as well I'm going to talk about Ploy. Now, this movie as is the case with most art films, is always good. I know, critics, critics bla bla bla, some critics found idiotic movies like High School Musical to be fantastic. Honestly, it was...I'd give it 7 out of 10, 3 out of the 7 to the wonderful sexual tension caused by the bartender and the maid and the 4 to the wife. The husband lacked powerful acting but honestly the ending was reminiscent about most movies that have at least an artistic or ironic edge to it, the bite of murder which is extremely out of the ordinary. Now, I've seen a lot of movies, hell, I did a course on movies. It reminded me of Fargo, when they slipped the dead body into the wood chopper and the seemingly contrasting cool pregnant policewoman, then it reminded me of the American remake (don't remember the name right now...) the Departed. And last but not least it made me feel the way I felt when the Banquet didn't deliver my freakin ending. My sister was like, oh its great its for you to decide who it was. I don't like that, that just pisses me off. In the tradition of art movies like Akira Kurosawa, the Banquet was beautiful. The blood spattering everywhere was fantastic, it wasn't as slow as others complained, it gave a wonderful stop like Kurosawa, a slowing down to reach the climax. I understand these kinds of tantric directors, it makes the climax all the more sweeter. Pen-Ek Ratanaruang was good, but I have yet to touch on other movies he 's made, therefore not much of a judgement. Ananda Everingham, although absolutely delicious to look at was too white in contrast to the sensual Lalita Panyopas. In contrast to a series of bad movies Thailand has made, Ploy certainly delivered. I remember, Ghost Delivery, which was bad, and after the Queen of Sukhotai there were a series of bad legendary movies. Nang Nak...not really my thing the storyline was good I did get freaked out but...the graphics were bad. Sometimes, sometimes light shines at the end of the road and even movies with extremely bad graphics can pull through because of the beauty of the acting and the ingenuity of the storyline. Is it that Wit and Tum are exploring sex through Ananda and Lalita? Or was it Wit and Ploy? I love Asian movies, they're the crust of Asian society, the Hong Kong film industry has certainly flopped in their number of movies, most disgust me to the core. What a waste of talent, it has been years since Hong Kong has produced movies worth watching. But that's not just yet, the Malaysian film industry is the worst of the worst, the only thing worth seeing is the Sepet series by Yasmin Ahmad, the famed Petronas advertisements which always breaks my freaking heart. And from Indonesia, aside from all the pop movies, so far I've liked Berbagi Suami. Good God, Mat Rempit was bad, so bad. Don't even mention Erra Fazira and Yusri's acting, horrible, extremely horrible, I would have to be bound and gagged to watch it at all. In addition to that the Mami Jarum series by the Films Professor who made himself the hero...its really sad. Now I look forward to Korea, they have produced so far a number of very good movies, one of them, Everybody Has Secrets, is still one of my favourites. It was a comedy admittedly but it also reflected a side of Asia nobody dares explore, SEX. Asian film industry, save me because honestly all I've been watching is American primetime series.(except Heroes, prisonbreak & Lost, I SO don't watch those). I think if mainland China can find other actresses besides the talented Zhang Ziyi, we'll have a winner, they've been producing very good down to earth movies, a good balance of art and life.

Monday, October 8, 2007

When one is in complete fear and complete pain, they are stripped of whatever faces and skins that they have created for themselves.

Sunday, October 7, 2007

Racist Eurasian

All the hype nowadays is that Eurasians are taking the kick of racism. Fuck that, that is NOT true, you want to know what racism is? When a people are being excluded from participating in social, political and economic engagement. I'll tell you what racism is and why eurasians should fuck the hell off, I'm pretty sure everyone on this planet is at some point multi racial, that is a fact, to add to this, physical anthropology adds that the first Eve discovered was a black woman. Many locals are excluded from participating in such and such because they are NOT of mixed heritage, the truth is banal, television LOVES eurasians better off than real ethnic people. Honestly, I'm just tired of flicking through the channels and all I see are pretty Eurasians or bi-racials. Where are these so called HOT eurasians when it comes to developments concerning science, religion, politics and the rest? They're just destined to become mere items of entertainment, now that ive said it, maybe it is okay to stick them up in television and let the rest of us so-called ugly humans get on with other things...Okay, eurasians, you win, another reason why I hate eurasians anyway is because I hate my mother ;D, she thinks I'm dark and ugly because she's eurasian indian, yuck, my gramma aint that pretty btw, she ugly, all of them ugly LOL Cheers,
P/s I know its been a slow day it doesnt even sound like im on my peak of criticism, maybe im just tired :P

Thursday, October 4, 2007

A nice picture of Edward as a baby



Edward as Hitler
Me, Lela and quarter of Fatimah's face

The Male Sexual Object





Recently I got obsessed with a particular actor, namely, he was naked most of the time and in my defense I get weak knees for beautiful men. Its a phase I know, remember that Dom phase I had when I was pregnant with Edward, gosh the kid ended up looking like Dom din't he? Nowadays I look at Dom and cringe, he is UGLY. I'm pretty sure I'd be bored of Ananda Everingham sooner or later as is the R.I.Ps of my past, Orlando Bloom, Ari Wibowo, Kam Woo Seong, Ahmad Dhani, to name a few. Ooh, Gale Harold, recently I saw him and I thought, that was what I was drooling after? Yuck. Men = Sexual Meat, Yummy, Ramassable, Lovely, Meaty, Oh so sexy and as is a lot of beautiful people, extremely shallow but hey, you can't have everything, there's a reason why I'm ugly and that shit is HOT, man, I'm waiting to see hi movie where he ends up as a prostitute. Honestly, I'd love to have one of His babies :D



Sunday, September 23, 2007

For Nurin Jazlin the dear departed and Madeleine McCanns of the world

Undoubtedly, there are more children out there who do not have the privilege of Madeleine McCann's white skin to get coverage, but I suppose its enough that she is among many, a face of all the children in the world who have been maimed for no reason. Nurin Jazlin, the Malay world should mourn because she, among many, are victims of her own race, which I suspect, namely because of the large number of sexual crimes that pervade in neighbouring Malaysia are all perpetrated by malays. I am not being racist, I myself, am Malay and sadly I don't understand why Malays are the most susceptible to such actions of sexual crimes. I am thinking and deep down I have no answer, in probability it could lie amongst all us Malays, probably, it lies in the fact that we are so either exceedingly foolish or just slowly urbanizing ourselves. I am ashamed, but the truth remains that my race, among many,is not the only who perpetrate crimes that murder innocent children. Historically, trained warrior tribes such as the Gurkha has been known to in missions in the past to throw babies and children in the air and immediately spear them. In literature concerning the second world war the Chinese feeling burdened by female children abandon them as they began to be eaten by dogs or raped by Japanese soldiers to death.In Thailand, there is a market for babies to be used as sexual objects for a price. Humans in all essence or thoughtless, nameless, faceless creatures continuously only as objects for sex by men. Are the men actual monsters or are they themselves equally victims, they too are faceless, nameless and thoughtless for in the act of committing the devious crimes they themselves have turned into hideous monsters unrecognized as humans in all essence. And those whom they force to become faceless and nameless. The worst part of this agenda is that only a handful few find it shocking unbelievably shocking and so many eventually shrug it as a horror and continue with their own lives. All voices have drowned out, and although this might seem astonishingly bleak but they remain the true and truthful crux of the embodiment of the human spirit. If the Abrahamic faiths were true, and if human suffering on earth was reversible, the only reason why in the world that I would hold true to religion and the afterlife is only the solace that if every one of the children who are nameless and faceless could receive justice then when the world has gone. I cannot and simply cannot accept atheism for this reason alone. That the thought that if atheism is true then those babies and children who are nameless and faceless will forever be nameless and faceless and forever be victims and those who victimized them forever never punished even in death, if death was all the same. Darwin, can you answer me? I am crushed by the thought of evolution when in all truth I have once and myself denounced all religion and I find myself here and again in the doorstep of religion despite its misgivings and find in the light of lights and truths that there at least exist a coherence and understanding of a world I cannot reach here. And as Siddhartha Gautama has mentioned that existence is suffering and until the light reaches Nirvana. Why I reject Buddhism is because I cannot in my sanest head believe that those children deserve bad karma because of their previous lives. Forgive me in this solace because I myself feel the dread and the pain.

Saturday, September 1, 2007

GenderCide

Incidentally, (duh), the highest rates of female infanticide occur in India and China where they are both patrilineal and patriarchal within their social and family structure, coincidentally, they are also both the highest producers of human beings in the world. The world is swarmed by Chinese and Indian immigrants, brought by white slave traders or in search of a better world. Abortion on the other hand, is the right for every female to decide whether they want the child or not, but how far and what limit should abortion be allowed? And when limitations exist for abortions the problem arises to the fact that the rich will get away aborting their female children while the poor will be prosecuted for aborting their children. Coming from a family where abortion is okay (my mother had one after me), prior to unplanned pregnancies I have also considered abortion in every stratum, don't mistake me, I am not like other women, I don't care if it stretches me to oblivion I love children very very much, but what I am very much concerned about is my family, who dislikes children. But as the bad sheep I had all three of my children anyway, thank you, and the comments and criticisms that come alongside it, please, if you're not paying for my kids' welfare so why don't you just fuck off. Where was I? Oh, yes, the problem with India is that religious rites are performed by a male heir, unlike some cultures that there needs to be a Male Heir certain mechanisms has been created to allow the religious rites to be performed, for example, Ghost Marriages, Woman-Woman marriage (not a lesbian marriage), and Adoption. But for a high culture civilization such as India I am troubled that they did not have such mechanisms to counteract the problem of excessive patriarchy and gender infanticide. The same also goes for China where female children are abandoned. Why is it in such and such societies excessive infanticide exists? Can anyone consider? Where is the border between pro-choice and crazed gender infanticide? It seems that feminism is getting a bite in the ass, don't get me wrong, Im a feminist at heart but the problem remains the same, in the salvaging way to fight off being controlled from abortion we in return are being set back by patriarchy who has used our means of controlling our bodies. One step forward, is a million steps back. Oh btw Id like to add, a doctor who read my old blog said I had anger issues, and he said that there are other people who are worst off than me. I don't get it, I'm talking about other people aren't I? I'm angry for other people, and at least I am blogging here so people can understand the issues that are happening in the world.